And please note that all of these stats are based on what people were willing to say in a poll. I think it's safe to say that some of the guys telling pollsters they've had a threesome in the last week do not in fact even know how those work. ("What if I only have one penis?") Never discount the social pressure to pretend we're getting more action than we are. In fact ...
We Lie About It Constantly
In my youth, I was a bit more lecherous than I am today, which is to say that I am still lecherous but more tired now. But in my 20s, you could have caught me bragging about my marathon-like prowess and indomitable stamina to people who would almost surely never have a chance to find out otherwise. I'm confident I was not the only one.
Well, here's the cold reality: The average time for a dude going to town is 12 minutes. Of course, within that average is a broad range, from the 44-minute Supermen to the 33-second hyper efficient rabbitmen. To be fair, we're talking strictly penetration here. If you spend time licking mint juleps out of each other's knee pits as foreplay, that's on you and on your own time. When it comes to straight up toad-in-the-hole action, you could very well be done in half a minute. Which is probably not the best time anyone's ever had, but maybe that guy also gives really good foot massages. I don't know because he's not me. I swear.
Meanwhile, a staggering 80 percent of women have admitted to faking an orgasm. Sometimes she's just not into it, or the angle is bad, or the cat is making eye contact in a very judgmental way. The point isn't that she didn't finish, but pretended she did. Because god forbid anyone admit to each other that they didn't enjoy the sex quite as much as they were expected to, or that they don't have it as often, or desire it as much. The moment we do that, our whole society will fall apart.
There are tons of other facts about the body it's probably important to learn in the Cracked De-Textbook.
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For more, check out 24 Shocking Statistics That Change How You View Sex and 25 Bizarre Statistics About Relationships And Sex.
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