BOTH Actors From The X-Files Wrote Crazy Books
Like a dying campfire that refuses to fade into the decade-old night, The X-Files is now one of the thousands of '90s era TV shows that is slated for wholly unnecessary revival. Good for them, I say. If fans want to see David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson revisit roles that they began before Justin Bieber was conceived, then, by all means, boredom, poverty, or pride should not keep the two from getting back on the X train. But before Duchovny and Anderson got the call to re-be Mulder and Scully, both ventured into the world of books. It's not until you take a look at the books they wrote that things get a little spooky.
Is it a bad sign when a first-time novelist's name takes up half the book cover?
Gillian Anderson, an actress known for being the lady obsessed with the supernatural, wrote a whole science-fiction book about a lady who's obsessed with the supernatural. Like Kim, she's just writing what she knows at this point. The reviews aren't awesome, but neither was my one attempt at a sci-fi thriller.
I have no idea what sci-fi is!
David Duchovny took a stab at fiction writing by inventing a whole new genre: DAIRY COMEDY. Dairy, as in milk, and comedy, as in- nope, let's just back up and talk about the dairy thing. David's debut book is called Holy Cow: A Modern-Day Dairy Tale, and it's about a cow named Elsie who finds out about industrial meat farms and gets worked up about it. The plot isn't important. What is important is the fact that David uses the phrase "cray cray" not once, but TWICE, in this book. That's because when he's writing as a cow, David uses teen jargon, but teen jargon as interpreted through a very sarcastic alien who has never encountered earthlings before. Which is why the sentence "You go girl. Can I holla? Can I holla?" exists in this book. That's a combination of words that David put together and sent to an editor. And an editor green-lighted. And a printer put on paper. That happened.
Kristi is a senior editor and columnist for Cracked. For more from her, check out past articles here and follow her on Twitter or Facebook.
For more from Kristi, check out 4 Reasons The Mars One Fiasco Was Actually Good For Humanity and 4 Signs Harrison Ford Is a Blind Guy Acting Like He Can See .
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