Let's play a game. I'm going to give you some quotes. You decide if the quotes were said by one of the Smith kids or by Matthew McConaughey's character in True Detective.
Breathing is meditation; life is a meditation. You have to breathe in order to live, so breathing is how you get in touch with the sacred space of your heart.
But on the level of being here on Earth, if you are aware in a moment, one second can last a year. And if you are unaware, your whole childhood, your whole life can pass by in six seconds.
You know that their sensory experience constituted a unique individual with purpose and meaning. So certain that they were more than a biological puppet. The truth wills out, and everybody sees. Once the strings are cut, all fall down.
It was all the same dream, a dream that you had inside a locked room, a dream about being a person. And like a lot of dreams, there's a monster at the end of it.
This is a fragment of a holographic reality that a higher consciousness made.
If it ain't that piece of paper, there's some other choice they're gonna try and make for you. You gotta do what Randall Pink Floyd wants to do man. Let me tell you this, the older you do get the more rules they're gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N.
You're going to have to do your homework to find the source quotes. Warning: I threw a wild card in there for fun. Did you spot it?
It turns out Jaden and Willow are hurling out snippets of big ideas that actually have real-world philosophy behind them, according to this anonymous philosopher who dissected the interview for Vice. The holographic reality Willow mentions, for example, is a well-known hypothetical scenario that goes back to Plato's Allegory of the Cave and Rene Descartes' dream argument. If you can't tell that you're dreaming when you're dreaming, how do you know we're not dreaming all the time, in other words. I flunked philosophy, so it's all gibberish to me.
What I think is really happening is that Jaden and Willow are living in their heads, as teenagers often do, and aren't aware that their words aren't resonating with ... anybody. So they're Detective Cohle and we're Detective Hart in this True Detective scenario. They've immersed themselves in books we don't have in front of us, so nothing makes sense. But that doesn't mean there's not a real green-eared spaghetti monster pulling the strings.
The Real Story Is What You Don't See
Frazer Harrison/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
Jaden and Willow Smith are pulling off something most parents of teens would kill for -- they get along together. I can't drive my kids to school in the morning without one of them pulling a gun on the other, and Willow and Jaden are collaborating on multiple projects on a Hanson brothers level. I don't care who you are or what you believe in, that's good parenting right there. Good parenting or good acting, and either way, KUDOS to Jada and Will for pulling off that neat trick.
Another story you get reading between the lines is that the Smith kids are on fire for education, just not going to school. Which, as a former homeschooling parent, I can get behind. And as a mom to kids who spend six hours a day at school and then two, three, four, or more hours a day on homework, I know there's something kind of heartbreaking about the education system that we've set up for our kids. If you're not careful, those 12-hour days will shred your soul, and for what? A diploma? A high school diploma? If I could hire world-class tutors and pull my kids out of the grind, I would. Especially if my kids were world-famous and faced a school environment that is probably more of a nightmare than most of us have to put up with. Jaden Smith is a little guy who reads philosophy books for fun. History tells us high school isn't a walk in the park for boys like him.
Am I going to buy the new Willow Smith album? No, I haven't bought an album since 2002, and that's why Taylor Swift hates me. Will I listen to it on Spotify? Sure, if it's good. And probably if it's not good, because I don't have great taste in music. I do have great taste in humans, and I'd let those Smith kids come over for dinner if they wanted. On Fridays we serve unapple pie for dessert, so I know we'll have a lot to talk about.
Kristi is a senior editor and columnist for Cracked. For more from her, check out past articles here and follow her on Twitter or Facebook.
For more famous people who are a bit off, check out 4 Respected Celebrities Who Are Slowly Losing Their Minds. And then check out 20 Insane Facts About Famous People They Want to Keep Secret.