The real WUDO site is much more disappointing after seeing that, but I still found myself muttering, "What the fuck?" a whole lot more on Microsoft's site. It's bad enough that they thought we would ever be cool with footing the Internet bill to distribute their updates for them, but it was an option that was turned on by default. In a stupid decision (that, to be fair, Microsoft has since remedied), Windows 10 installed itself with the option to "get and send updates to PCs on my local network and PCs on the Internet."

Microsoft
Also, the fine print mentions "Skynet" a few times.

You may be asking yourself why this matters. "Just turn the option off, doofus!" you might say. Well, first of all, the option to turn that off is buried several clicks into the Windows Update options, which is not intuitive at all if you're a casual user. And second, if you don't specifically know it's an issue, you're probably not going to go rooting through the update settings. Contrary to what you might think, most people just turn on their computer and start using it. They don't automatically assume that the operating system they paid for is doing shady shit behind the scenes.

This isn't just a nitpicky complaint. This costs people actual money. A lot of Internet service providers enforce a data cap on your service that limits how much Internet you're allowed to gobble up each month. And I'm not just talking about shitty rural connections, either. Even if you live in a larger city, you likely have a data cap without even knowing it. In many cases, if you exceed that limit, you have to pay the overage, sometimes as much as $10 for every 50 gigabytes. This is all assuming you're lucky enough to live in an area that gets decent Internet in the first place, because you may not have considered just how bad most of the country has it when it comes to Internet speed. And that's just in the U.S.! So, yes, unless you know how to dig through settings to stop Microsoft from dishing out your monthly bandwidth without even asking you, you're getting fucked. Not even malware has the balls to do that.

Yes, I just said that Windows 10 is worse than malware.

As is the case with any major update, whether it be a massive Windows update or even a Facebook newsfeed revamp, users love to freak out over every little change that is made to their privacy. You really can't blame Windows users for being sketchy about privacy, either, especially since Microsoft is still messing with the privacy settings in Windows 7 and 8. As soon as Windows 10 began distribution, handy users dug through its privacy settings to make sure everything was on the up and up. Unfortunately, they discovered that pretty much everything was on the down and down.

In addition to the same privacy settings you can find on your mobile phones, like tracking your location to customize your search queries and targeted Start menu ads, resolute users also found some not-so-standard features that needed to be addressed. You may have heard talk of Windows 10 switching on a keylogger that tracks your every keystroke and that Cortana, the Windows 10 digital assistant, is watching everything you do. Everything.

Microsoft Studios
Which, honestly, I'll bet more than a few dudes would be into.

As unnerving as it may be, Microsoft has been upfront about these types of settings for a long time. Honestly, you can't expect to have a robot assistant who helps with your everyday tasks if you don't give her access to where you are, what your schedule is, and who you're trying to contact. What is a concern for most users, though, is that it shares all of this information with Microsoft, a feature they have no problem setting to "automatic."

Luckily for those of us wanting to keep our horrifying computing habits a secret, all these features have an off switch that you can spend your precious free time configuring. I should mention, however, that it's been found that switching most of these features off does diddly-squat; your Windows 10 is still talking to Microsoft about what you've been up to. So, as long as you don't like using the Internet or typing or even speaking while around your computer, Windows 10 should be a home run for you.

Personal computing has seen its share of security risks ever since the first asshole sat down at his desk and said, "I think I'll start programming and distributing viruses because evil is an excellent boredom killer." Since then, every major technology company has made it their beeswax to cover their own asses when it comes to security. Almost every daily update that comes to your computer includes some kind of security tweak meant to protect you. The same thing happened in November when Microsoft released the Threshold 2 update for Windows 10.

Threshold 2 gave users a lot of welcomed new features that made 10 work much better. Excited users rushed to their machines after the update like children on Christmas, waiting to see what technological wonders were brought by Saint Microsoft. Too bad many users were too distracted to focus on these new digital miracles because they were too busy trying to figure out who the hell gave Microsoft permission to uninstall their fucking programs. That's not an exaggeration -- a bunch of programs, with varying degrees of importance, were just straight-up uninstalled without any notice or authorization.

Microsoft
It also lied right to our faces.

The Windows 10 thread on our own forums saw a lot of action around this time, though it began to look more like a support group for people fucked over by their operating system than a forum dedicated to dick jokes. Apparently, the update was uninstalling programs it deemed a security risk. Virus scan software and PC analysis software were examined by Microsoft and removed, which was bad enough. But then there were some innocent programs like Adobe Reader and Adobe's CS Suite that were wiped out, as well as some super important stuff like the PC's graphics card control center and RAID configuration software, which is vital software that keeps some hard drives functioning. Removing a PDF reader is one thing, but if your update is stripping a program's ability to run your own software and hardware, that's not an update; it's a goddamn virus.

If you were affected by the update back in November, Microsoft's official advice was to use their built-in "Oops, I borked it" tool. This is a tactic that is typically reserved for when Microsoft's dumb customers install a virus and need to roll back to a time when they were less foolish, like the world's dorkiest time traveler. It is not supposed to be used for Microsoft to protect itself from itself. The commotion associated with the disastrous Threshold 2 update seems to have died down since November, which is why I think a lot of people have moved past what a clustery fuck the whole thing was. I'd probably keep the lube within reach, though, because the next big update is right around the corner.

With all these problems, users who haven't made the plunge might feel like it is in their best interest to stay away from Windows 10 altogether. That's probably a safe bet and would be a really great solution, only ...