This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
It's the holidays, and everyone wants to get their loved ones the latest 4K HD Microsoft Switch Drone With Attachable Flamethrower. However, some of us might not have the cash for that. BUT FEAR NOT, as the Cracked Store is chock-full of stocking stuffers that won't have your bank account weeping in despair.
Glowing Second-Generation iOS Lightning Charging Cable
This glowing iOS charging cable is like a lava lamp for 2017. But aside from putting you in a hypnotic state, it can also show you the charging speed in a neat way: The higher the current, the faster the light flows. It's literally the future, or at least a setpiece in a rad '90s sci-fi flick. And it's especially perfect for dads who love to say "Is this thing on?" to every electronic device. It's on sale for half off, just $12.99.
Millennium Falcon Ice Molds
Sometimes you need a drink that's as cold as Han Solo in carbonite. And thanks to these Millennium Falcon ice molds, you can have a chilly beverage in less than 12 parsecs. Just remember, if you're going to drink like an intergalactic smuggler, then you have to always take the shot first. They're only $9.99 for a limited time.
FresheTech Splash Tunes Bluetooth Shower Speaker
Nothing says love like encouraging your significant other to keep singing in the shower with this waterproof Bluetooth speaker. Yes, their half-gargled renditions of Taylor Swift hits might wake you up every morning, but at least this speaker from FresheTech will provide an accompanying backtrack to drown out the off-key notes. It also attaches to any surface via suction cup, and can even float in water. You can grab one of these for $19.99, which is a temporary price drop from $49.95.
TREBLAB X11 Earphones
These X11 earbuds from TREBLAB might look like playful trinkets to hang on the tree, but they are actually wireless tech at its finest. They're perfect for listening while running, working out, doing chores, or just ignoring your family's pleas for help with the holiday preparations. They carry advanced features like passive noise cancellation and a built-in mic for taking calls (again, great for dodging out on doing work) and come in a range of colors for every member of the family. Keep everyone happy for just $36.99, which is an incredible 81 percent discount off the usual $200 price.
Get a jump on the holidays with Nail The Holidays With These 5 Gadgets ... Suck It, Santa.