3

Rudy Giuliani Arrested Someone Who Complained About His Police Force

Throughout Rudolph Giuliani's two terms as mayor of New York, he hosted a weekly radio show called Live From City Hall ... With Rudy Giuliani. You can go listen to old recordings if you wanna feel kinda sad about how this dude has deteriorated in the last two decades. The final show aired on September 7, 2001, and the show's website remains broken and laughably ancient to this day.

In 1997, a chauffeur named James Schillaci called in to the show. Police were messing with traffic lights in the Bronx, he said. They were repeatedly driving their cars over sensors so they could trigger red lights and then ticket motorists, and James had video to prove it. Giuliani laughed off James' complaints because he had bigger problems to deal with, like the team of tiny goblins piloting his flesh suit. So James went to The New York Daily News, and the following day, officers came to his home and put him in handcuffs.

They were arresting him for a traffic offense of his own, a violation from 13 years earlier. That's not something the city is supposed to do, so a judge threw the charge out, but the arrest served its purpose of punishing and discrediting James. "Mr. Schillaci was posing as an altruistic whistle-blower," said Giuliani in a press conference. "Maybe he's dishonest enough to lie about police officers." Then the NYPD released the man's criminal record to the press, which they didn't have the right to do either. And they leaked that he had been convicted of sodomy. Wow, that would be a hell of a plot twist ... if it was true in the slightest.

2

LBJ May Have Thrown The '68 Election To Nixon Solely To Spite His Vice President

Lyndon B. Johnson became president after JFK was assassinated, was elected again in 1964, and was eligible to run again in 1968, under the 22nd Amendment's rarely used "Oh my god, they killed Kennedy" clause. But he chose not to seek reelection. The commonly accepted reasoning for this is that he had lost popularity and also had health issues, so he was willing to step aside and let the nomination go to his vice president, even though the man was named "Hubert Humphrey." That doesn't scream "president" as much as it does "'60s Marvel character who runs a hamburger stand."

What most people don't know is that after Robert Kennedy was assassinated in June 1968, LBJ tried to get the DNC to draft him as their nominee after all, though he hadn't even been campaigning. This attempt totally failed; even the "Oh my god, they killed another Kennedy" clause was no help. And so Johnson came to resent Humphrey. Or rather, came to resent him more. LBJ had disliked Humphrey for years. And he further soured on the man when he departed from Johnson's plan for the Vietnam War, despite having pinky-promised not to and despite reciting a prepared speech on Vietnam while LBJ used the toilet.

1

Billionaire Bill Gross Allegedly Stank Up His Mansion To Spite His Ex

Bill H. Gross is a billionaire, and if you haven't heard of him before, well, that's likely for the best. See, Bill ran the world's largest bond fund, and he made his first money out of college by counting cards playing blackjack. He has an entire Smithsonian exhibit devoted to his love of philately, which sounds like a sex act that I'm too poor to properly understand, much less enjoy.