Hint: extremely marketable.
What do they transform into? MORE BOOBS!However, some people are a bit more complicated than that. Like women, for example. They have both thoughts and emotions. I know! Crazy, right? How do you crack someone like that? Well, you break it down; to figure out the complicated human mind, you need to know how they think - what exactly makes them the person they are - and to know that, you need to know what theyâve seen, and what they remember. Thatâs why researchers at the ATR Computational Neuroscience Laboratories
Okay, so telepathy is 8-bit for now. Give it 20 years and itâll be HD.Because the visual cortex registers what you see, whether you realize it or not, this process also makes it possible to capture things you havenât physically seen - like dreams or visualized imaginary scenarios â as well as things you canât consciously recall seeing, or werenât paying attention to - like forgotten memories or small details overlooked at the time. So eventually,
Like this, but with MacGyver's face. And sexy.For the time being, they can only recreate crude images like the aforementioned letters, and even then only by painstakingly mapping brain activity recorded while youâre currently looking at something. So on the down side, even if it advanced remarkably, this specific technology could never tell somebody what you were
Hint: extremely marketable.
âI want to believeâ¦that this shit isnât true. Seriously, this is fucked.âRight now, itâs just a helmet with 128 electrical sensors strategically placed around it. The sensors work as a kind of EEG, tuned to monitor the speech centers of the brain, so it would only pick up words, and even then only words you formed carefully, and held onto mentally. The researchers assure us that, for the time being, thereâs no actual danger of it reading your mind against your will. You have to be specifically trained to operate the equipment in the first place, and even then, the communications would have to be very forceful, very simple and framed very carefully to be picked up at all.
âFUCK YOU. FUCK. YOU. F.U.C.K.Y.O.U.âThough in time they trust that the communications will be relayed in your own voice, for now theyâre played back via headphones with a robotic speech reader. Itâs essentially like having a tiny robot living inside your brain that broadcasts your inner-most thoughts straight to the military â so it turns out that homeless guy outside the library that wears 17 alternating layers of flannel and saran wrap was totally right on this one!
The three guys on the left were told they're an orchestra, the guy on the floor was told he's a horse and the lady at the bottom was just told to "suck it."Itâs not very specific as of yet - just a vague stimulation of large areas of the brain - but thereâs something theyâve been experimenting with for a while that delves a whole lot deeper: things like DBN (Deep Brain Stimulation) and VNS (Vagus Nerve Stimulation), both of which are currently used and apparently effective new techniques implemented to battle things like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, clinical depression, bi-polar disorder, drug addiction â even stuttering. But those procedures are invasive. You have to undergo extremely dangerous neurosurgery, where doctors implant wires in various parts of your brain, which are in turn connected to a battery that sits inside your chest. The battery then emits periodic jolts of electricity to the brain, with different thresholds, timing and placement depending on what condition the patient suffers from, and how intense the symptoms are. The results have been astounding so far, with long-suffering patients seeing instant, complete and lasting recovery in some cases. They describe it âlike flicking a switch,â and then all of their symptoms are gone. Now, with this ultrasound breakthrough, the potential is there to see similar effects with targeted sound waves. As the researchers themselves explain it âone prior stumbling block was the skull,â but luckily they found that âthe acoustic frequencies can penetrate bone, and yet prevent damage to the soft tissues.â And thereâs your first hint that this shit is insanely scary â when the researchers in question describe the human skull as a âstumbling blockâ to be âpenetrated through.â
âIf we could just get rid of this fucking thingâ¦âWhen you consider that one personâs âpersonality disorder,â could easily be anotherâs âgeneral dislike of government policyâ or even just a âlack of willingnessâ to work without pay on Christmas, the implications get pretty ominous. So, scientists will soon be able to fire skull-penetrating sound waves into your head to change your mood and personality. But will they? Surely this is merely for study, not for common civilian uses. That would be an ethics violation of the highest order, and no scientist working on this technology would ever suggest such a thing, right? Actually, as lead researcher Professor Tyler puts it, âthe potential applications could range from medical interventions,â like firing a sound gun at you that makes you quit drinking, to âvideo game uses,â like â¦what? Really making you feel what emotional states your space marines are going through?
The emotional range of a Space Marine: from "Fuck Yeah!" to "High Five!"He even goes on to say it could even be used to create âartificial memories along the lines of Arnold Schwarzenegger's character in Total Recall." Imagine taking a vacation without actually going anywhere!â Thatâs an actual quote from the actual guy thatâs actually doing this, by the way. He thinks that Total Recall was a good idea. I guess he missed the part of that movie where it was revealed that the technology in question was either making a man betray himself in order to enforce the will of a corrupt corporation that literally suffocated the poor, or else it was all the deluded fantasy of said man as he died from an embolism, trapped forever in the artificial dreams as his life ebbed away. If theyâre really trying to introduce mind control technology as something good and harmless for use in civilian applications - maybe they should avoid citing their inspirations as being directly drawn from villainous science fiction plots regarding hopeless dystopian futures populated by mutants and exploding heads.
âLetâs make this shit happen.â âScienceAlthough, there was a girl with three titties in that movieâ¦ Nevermind, science. I see where youâre going with this. Keep up the good work!
The main benefit of watching TV is seeing the plight of sad bastards who aren't you.
The 'wellness' market is thriving right now.
Most people have a pretty basic idea of what it's like to be a parent.
There's no shortage of downright absurd conspiracy theories out there.
Let's not get too crazy, kids.