But instead of being transparent with your feelings, you come up with a plan: "Hey, I'll become her friend first. I'll show her what a great guy I am. I'll be her best friend and listen to her complain about boys and her friends and whatever else, and when she sees how sweet I am and what a good listener I am, she'll have no choice but to accept me when I finally confess what I knew from day one -- I dig her sexually and want to date her."
I didn't consult my urban dictionary, but "dig her sexually" is still the hip term for wanting to bone that all the kids are using, right? Also, "bone," right?
You have to accept, right now, that's not a legitimate way to win someone's heart. That is a trick. It is a lie. You might think you're showing her what a sweet guy you are, but what you're really showing her is that your seemingly wonderful friendship had an ulterior motive all along. So first you do your best to act like another girlfriend or her gay best friend, and then not only do you get mad that she can't change gears on a dime, you don't understand why she feels mislead? It's like adopting a cow as a pet because you're too scared to admit you want to eat it. On the day you lead it to the slaughterhouse, don't you think that cow's going to be rightly upset? OK, maybe that's not the best analogy, because a loving sexual relationship shouldn't be akin to devouring something. Then again, if you're willing to engage in cowardly deceit for sex, maybe an unflattering comparison isn't the worst thing.
"No, I'm pretty sure that was the worst thing. What a terrible analogy."
Also, I find those men who feel "friendzoned" in this scenario are often the most vocal and angry about. "I've been good to you for six months / 1 year/ 2 years, and after all this time, you won't give me a chance?" There's so much wrong with that statement. First of all, getting a girlfriend isn't like building a credit rating. You don't just magically make something appear through hard work if there's no attraction. Secondly, do you really want to guilt someone into dating you? "Awww, c'mon, you have to!"