Ahh, better? Good. But of course you're not going to the gym. Anywhere from 30 to 80 percent of new gym memberships will be left in a dusty drawer full of Twinkie wrappers within five months. Why such a large range? Because literally every source I found for that stat was different. I suspect no one knows how many people quit; we're just pretty confident that a lot of people give up based on how empty gyms are in September compared with January. So, maybe you'll go to the gym five times, but odds are you won't go much more.
The problem with hitting the gym and being healthy is that if you don't already hit the gym and live healthy, you're trying to climb a mountain with a peg leg and a club foot in a wind storm and no ropes. Who does that? If you're not healthy, you can't just say, "Healthy!" and expect it to work. And at a gym? Fuck that, have you ever been to the gym?
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"Now grunt! Loudly!"
The gym is literally the worst place on Earth for out-of-shape, unhealthy people. It's like an alcoholic trying to get off the sauce by getting a job as a wine taster. No it's not. It's like a hobo trying to join a bunch of Wall Street asshats at some sort of investment orgy. It's everything you're not kicking you in the face repeatedly, even if it's unintentional, in a way that makes you feel self-conscious and like you've already failed before you began. You can motivate yourself by staring at chicks in yoga pants only for so long. Eventually, you need to lift a weight.
The other issue here is: what do you do all day now? If you're not finding the time to hit the gym today, it's because you're doing something, right? How can you sacrifice that to go to the gym? Can you? David Wong explained this all pretty well in his article on ways we sabotage ourselves. No offense dude, but you're screwed.
So you and your pudding heiney have a routine that you're pretty cool with right now, and you feel like it's letting you down in the fitness department, but of course it's been doing that since Day 1, right? It didn't just happen that your life got lard-laden and chubbed out. You've been nurturing that shit, even if you didn't plan to. Now you need to sneak in a healthy habit. Mark that word down in your My Little Pony diary and put stars and hearts around it. Habit. If it's not a habit, it's fucking useless to you.
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