"I gasped between licks as his c**k hardened against my hungry, greedy lips. 'Your dino dick wants to enter my warm, wet cave!'"
Layla is a cavewoman who sets out to prove her worth to her tribe by bringing down the most fearsome beast of the -- huh, that's weird. Just got a sudden rush of deja vu. But unlike Beliria, Layla is unappreciated and burdened with a lover who can't even get her off because she's been hunting saber-toothed tigers instead of the more dangerous and respectable dinosaurs. So, of course, she sets out to bring one down her own damn self.
Now, if you're like me, you may have naively assumed that the "T-Rex Trouble" of the title would just be another rapey lizard. It is not. The trouble is that this particular rapey lizard ALSO HAS MAGICAL TELEPATHIC MIND CONTROL POWERS.
Which has led to hours of debate among dino-raperotica purists.
"'I was given a mystical gift,' it said, mouth not moving, eyes black as tar, rimmed with gold that seemed to flicker in the sun. 'Not only to speak with the humans, but to bend their minds -- and their bodies -- to my desires.'"
Please note that this is the only explanation you're going to be getting. Carnus -- the f*****g dinosaur is named "Carnus"! -- gives Layla a choice between having sex with it and being eaten, and she understandably chooses the former. Now, if you're familiar with what a Tyrannosaurus rex actually looks like, you may have already realized that there is a few slight problems with this, mostly involving relative size and the awkwardness of being a 40-foot-long dinosaur with tiny little arms.
Christie Sims does not back down from the challenge of figuring out how this would work.
Christie Sims/Alara Branwen
"I've figured out how to rub one out with these things; I can figure this out, too."
"With that, the giant beast knelt to the ground. Its black eyes, swollen and round, never left mine as it lay, with some difficulty, on its back."
Oh, man. I know that it's a psychic interspecies rapist and all, but the mental image of a T. rex awkwardly trying to flop over for reverse cowgirl is straight up adorable.
Seriously ... I think this might be my new favorite book.