It's a Goliwog
"Who's my offensive representation of a black person? You are! Yes, you are! My word. I'm crazy, and even I find this in poor taste. Maybe that means I'm sane and everyone else is crazy? I'D BETTER GO PEE ON THAT ZEBRA." ________________________________________________ It's a Brick of Hash
"Oh, Mr. Brick of Hash, me and my flapper friends are going to get so high on you. We are going to get high and have sex like dogs do with sailors." ________________________________________________
It's Some Patent Medicine
"No one must ever know the dark, horrible things we do together, Laxakola." ________________________________________________ It's a Rock
"Hello Mr Rock. How are you? I let Old Banana go bad last week, and now I feel awful. Promise me you'll never change Mr. Rock. Promise me you will always taste the same." ________________________________________________ It's a Black Dildo
"The doctor said that this should ease my climacteric flashes, but gave no instructions how to use it. I imagine placing it next to the brain -- the source of womanly ailments -- will do the trick."
She's A Goddamned Time Traveler
Finally, we must acknowledge the slim chance that this woman is actually a time traveler, and is indeed carrying some kind of blackish device from the future. It's a Cell phone
For her to be using a cell phone as we know it is almost certainly impossible, relying as they do on the presence of cellular towers, and horrible companies to run them. But a walkie-talkie or other more advanced device is certainly possible. "Hello future? Yes I'm here now. Yes many of them do look like Scrooge McDuck. It is hilarious, over." ________________________________________________
It's a Penis Pump
Without understanding the mechanism of time travel, it's hard to say what effects it might have on human physiology. Perhaps this "woman" with her broad shoulders, and huge, girthy feet, is on her way to a passionate rendezvous and needs something to enhance one of her sets of genitals. I mean, if we're opening the door for time travel, then let's kick that door off its fucking hinges. ________________________________________________ It's Some Male Genital Desensitizer
Cans of male genital desensitizer would be very handy for time travelers, in the event they ever had to numb their senses from the stupidity of 20th century life. Or delay orgasm, I guess. ________________________________________________ It's a Data Recorder
It's also possible this woman is using some kind of hand-held audio/video/odor recorder to gather information on something. Whether anyone is whispering about her enormous feet and probable phallus, most likely. ________________________________________________ It's a Weapon
Finally, this could be some kind of energy weapon, held against the head due to its minimal kickback, which she's lining up to fire at the guy walking in front of her. Is he also a time traveler? Was he sent to kill Charlie Chaplin? And he-she's here to stop him? Are we looking at a timecop? Are we looking at a transgendered timecop? LOOK at this picture AND TELL ME we're NOT looking at a chick WITH A LASER AND A DICK, saving Charlie Chaplin from CHRONO-AL-QAEDA. ___________________________________________
Bucholz has gotten less terrified of human contact! Make him reconsider that by Liking His Facebook page or Following Him On Twitter!