... because I already took the time to catch it. Might as well do something, ya know?
... because I'm a bad doctor.
... because I'm a good doctor but a bad person.
"Bark Bark Click Bark Woof!"
... because I have your television pointer, human. Fear me, for I am speaking, yet I am many dogs.
... because I am a human in an unbelievably lifelike dog costume and, yes, I'm watching TV right now. I work all day, let me watch a fucking second of goddamn anything.
... because I'm the main character of 2015's Look Who's Talking on Other Channels. I'm played by Willem Dafoe, so hi, I'm Willem Dafoe, and I'm in this seriously unbelievably lifelike dog costume. Be sure to see me and a female cast member as Metch and Twong, two lazy dogs who are pretty dumb, even for dogs. One prefers wagging and the other prefers panting, and by the end we realize that neither of those things matters in the long run due to the futility of life, especially if you're a dog. Don't check it out if you get bummed easily. Definitely check it out if you want to see some seriously revolutionary costuming going on.
... because I'm just sitting here, waiting for Barking Bad to come back.
This Desk Gives the Absolute Best Blowjobs ...