, my spam filter knew I'd at least want the option of seeing barnyard fucking and my XBOX 360 outsmarts me all the time. Just now I was playing Just Cause 2
, shooting soldiers from a little thing called a parachute
that I was pulling along with a grappling hook.
Now against human enemies with emotions, their trigger fingers would be too busy reaching for the nearest high five to shoot at me. Well, robots have no emotions. One robot ignored my parachute's awesomeness and stoically calculated its trajectory to put a rocket-propelled grenade in our path. Now think about this: When that AI brain gets put in a real robot, it's going to be 3.7 times easier for it to hit me with a rocket when I have neither a parachute
a grappling hook. Which is why I always carry both. Try to beat that with your "logic," robots. The Day After Stage Personal Trait Needed: Fleeing
First-gen apocalypse robots are going to be pretty crappy and if you meet one in single combat you'll probably be able to subdue them and use their orifice ports for their original sex function. The real issue is that they control the world's nuclear arsenal, communication lines and electrical grid. It really only takes one self-aware Roomba scuffling across a few buttons to turn the world into half-exploded cavemen. So when the robots wake up, your best bet is to get as far away from population centers and appliances as possible. Don't be a bitch, though. Before you pinch it off and run, let that urinal flush sensor's first sentient thought be "SYSTEM ONLI--KICK DETECTED! DAMAGE!" In the early stage of the Robopocalypse, you're not going to have much to kill anyway. Most of your enemies are going to be software and incoming ballistic missiles. Plus, you can never really be certain whether or not the robots can control things like cars and soda machines, so to be safe, get on a bicycle and go camping. It'll hopefully be days before they finish building terminator robot assembly lines, and you'll be spending that time growing balls. Balls are our only advantage.