Oh, and if for some reason you're not into stickin' it to latex reimaginations of murderous carcasses: the company offers female and male versions of each monster genitalia. You know, just in case you feel like owning a graphically decomposing zombie dick.
A Goddamn Clown Vibrator
As we all know, nothing says "sexy time" like the friendly face of a clown, slowly approaching your nether regions accompanied by a buzzing sound.
No, wait. What I meant to say was "murder." Nothing screams "murder" like a clown about to go nuts on your fun parts.
Whoever made this fuckin' product must have taken a cue from all the cutesy dolphin and rabbit vibrators out there and gone for the nicest childhood image they could conjure. Unfortunately, they spent their childhood locked in a well, and their only memory from that time is that goddamn face, as it periodically hosed them with a giant squirting flower and whispered obscenities at them in the dark.
The clown vibrator is actually part of a series of cartoon-themed crotch ticklers, and somehow it isn't even the most unnerving one of them. That prize goes to the all-star baseball player: