Sooooooo many of you chose fox tossing ...
Fox tossing because it sounds adorable
D. Foxes are cute
Fox Tossing, they are so cool
Fox tossing, they're just so darn cute. They would of course be outfitted with the most modern of protective gear for said foxes. It's a noble sport about strength, not causing pain
Fox tossing must be the most complete sport of the list. Training for body and soul.
And soooooooo many of you had no idea it was a very real and horrible thing. From Wikipedia:
Fox tossing (German: Fuchsprellen) was a popular competitive blood sport in parts of Europe in the 17th and 18th centuries, which involved throwing live foxes and other animals high into the air. It was practiced by members of the aristocracy in an enclosed patch of ground or in a courtyard, using slings with a person on each end to catapult the fox upwards. It was particularly popular for mixed couples, though it was hazardous for both the tossed animals and the people launching them. Sometimes the terrified animals would turn on the participants, and the outcome for the tossed animals was usually fatal.
Oooo, mixed couples! How inclusive!
The stats on people who knew what fox tossing actually was and those who thought it sounded totes adorbs were pretty evenly split. And did you know that Augustus II The Strong held a fox tossing competition that ended with the deaths of 647 foxes? That's too many tossed foxes, if you ask me.
Coming in second with about a quarter of the overall vote was Dumpster tobogganing. Your reasoning was sound:
Dumpster tobogganing. No one can ever beat my goals in a sport they won't compete in. I will always be the best.
A. It may be a stupid sport to you, but dumpster tobogganing is the only thing holding my family together.
You're right, Neneboy. I can see how Dumpster tobogganing could bring families together. It's probably very similar to the way fox tossing brought together all manner of emperors and dukes so that they could take part in the merriment of tossing not only foxes but hares, badgers, and wildcats high into the air, only to watch them plummet to the ground and die, and then they'd all laugh and give each other awards to celebrate the discovery of a new depth humanity can sink to.
But some of the most passionate responses came from speed felching practitioners. They're a minority, making up only 12 percent of the tally (with precision toenail firing bringing up the rear, with 8 percent), but they are a vocal and enthusiastic bunch who have found the beauty in sucking your own cum out of someone's ass.
Speed felching is important. When dating, I like to make sure that I quickly demonstrate to my partner that I have value. And if sucking my own fluids out of her holes so she feels a modicum less filthy for the horrible, horrible life decision she's just made doesn't get that job done then I don't think anything will.
Speed felching Because you made me google it. And being really good at that 'sport' will make anyone desire you. People desire those that give them the best orgasm. It's science and human nature. It's like a drug. Get people hooked on you.
Speed felching. The precision of movements involved in a world class speed felcher can be easily applied to many lucrative careers in engineering, medicine, and finance.