What Were They Thinking? âIf kids learn to see that everyone has their own unique imperfections, they will realize that intolerance harms us all.â What Kids Who Read It Think: âGreat, Iâm surrounded by cripples. And you can get high by huffing paint? Who knew? Me, now. Awesome.â
What Kids Who Read It Think: âThat crack dealer lives in a GIANT MANSION! Screw fireman; I want to be a dealer when I grow up!â
What Were They Thinking? âNo one will listen to my theories about the White Man pushing drugs on our brothers and sisters! Perhaps if I thinly veil them and target kidsâ¦â What Kids Who Read It Think: âHorses are silly. Whyâ¦ why isnât Daisy getting up, Mommy? Mommy?!â
Itâs all those things, but itâs mostly the fact that after 16 pages of the most fucked up childhood this side of Michael Jacksonâs, Alfie has a single meeting with a counselor, and everythingâs immediately fine. His uncle apologizes, his parents make up, he realizes he isnât gay after all (Oh thank Christ!), rainbows shoot out of his ass, the whole bit. Itâs like if Requiem For a Dream ended with a big tea party/dance number. What Were They Thinking? Not much. What Kids Who Read It Think: âWow, this is shit. Iâm going to go watch PokÃ©mon.â
Things could always be much, much worse.
You've probably never heard of it.
The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.