This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Property taxes, student loans, extra guac -- adulting is expensive. While we can't do much to help you with the big scary financial burdens that keep you up at night, we can point you in the direction of some fantabulous products that will make things just a little less painful. Plus they're all on sale at amazing prices.
It's Damasukasu knives and a whetstone in the same package! Gaze upon such works, ye salmon and despair, for you don't stand a chance! Get it for 88% off at just $79.99 today.
We promise not to keep making this joke, but learning Microsoft Excel can seriously make you seem like a wizard to your co-workers. (And get you a raise!) This training program is just $39 today.
It would be easy to pull another wizard reference here, but wizards don't really know anything about technology. Their only significant innovation in communication is trading in carrier pigeons for slightly less pestilent birds. Meanwhile, Muggles can learn the much more lucrative trade coding for a price they pick with this massive bundle.
These sweet wireless earbuds come with their very own charging case. That way, you'll always have a place to put them when they aren't in your ear holes. Plus, they're 60% off at just $74.99 now.
This Lightning cable is built to last (unlike the flimsy ones you get in the box), and it features a built-in battery so you can charge like a normal person with an outlet or on the go. Nab one for only $19.99!
Look at this thing! It's a scale replica of the moon, and it goes through the same phases! You can probably use it to summon werewolves, or at the very least use it as a very cool desk ornament. It's $199.99 because these materials are high-quality, but that's 30% off the usual price.
Not only does learning a new language make you seem like less of a dummy (no one knows how stupid you are if you're saying stupid things in a language they can't understand), but it's also an enriching, enjoyable experience. Right now you can get lifetime access to Babbel's leading language education software for 50% off at $149.
We all know the value of being really, really cool on social media. It just feels good knowing that people are building an intense jealous rage toward you when they see your photos. So learn how to take really cool pics with the Hollywood Art Institute online photography course.
Everybody needs cloud storage, because life is data, and you gotta put it somewhere. ThunderDrive is offering lifetime access to 2 TB of storage for just $59, an absolute steal. In case you're wondering how much 2 TB of data is, don't. It'll hurt your brain.
The TREBLAB X2s are True Wireless, which means they are extremely loathsome toward wires. And they're really easy to pop in your ears, so you can start listening to motivational programming as quickly as possible. They're on a super special deal now, down an additional few bucks from a $66.99 sale price to $59.99 for a limited time.
But, you know, nothing against physical things, either. Finish Off Summer Right With These 10 Gizmos And Gadgets.
Things could always be much, much worse.
The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.
You've probably never heard of it.