5 Things About Vikings That We Get All Wrong

Unfortunately, thanks to centuries of misinformation in scholarly histories and in popular culture, most people suffer from a variety of misconceptions about the Vikings, from who they were to when they were active to what, exactly, they did.

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Since we have been conditioned to have “tha best summa eva” every single summer of our lives, it's normal to stress out a little about kicking back. What if everybody gets bored and ditches your party? What if you’re struck down with a case of charcoal impotence and can’t get the barbecue going? What if you pop your flamingo floatie? Just shut all those questions down because we've allocated some mental resources to thinking about this for you, and we've got some suggestions for how to turn your summer party up to 11.

Break Out the Lawn Games

People go wild for lawn games. Cornhole, Kan Jam, disc golf, badminton — you name it. Mix in a couple of beers, and before you know it, people will be throwing punches for some paddles. In fact, why not combine the two with the BasketPong Giant Yard Pong Basketball Game? Half beer pong, half basketball, rest assured that you’ll have a much better chance of hitting these massive buckets than those stupid red Solo cups. It's suitable for all ages as long as you don't put beer in their hands, extremely easy to set up, and even easier to score your way to buzz town.

Put Another Shrimp on the Barbie

Anybody can squeeze a tube of mystery meat directly onto the grill and call it a cookout. That’s not going to bring all the boys to your yard. Mix it up with some barbecue chicken, veggie kebabs, shrampie bois (there must be a reason Barbie likes them so much), or even some dang lobster tails. Even if it doesn’t work out, people will be impressed with your audacity. Or just devote yourself to learning the art and science of making a really good burger. (Just flip it once, people! That's all it takes! It's the easiest thing in the world. Stop flipping the ever-loving bejesus out of that burger.) Life is short -- don’t settle for underwhelming barbecue.

Kiddie Pools, Anyone?

Whether you're in Massachusetts (the only state where a pool actually decreases home value) or just a normal person who refuses to undertake the ridiculous amount of upkeep required by in-ground pool ownership, you can still have pool parties. With a kiddie pool, you can head up to the grill, grab a burger, and then go sit down in a nice cool ice bath with beers floating all around you. Be honest: You had no intention of going for a vigorous swim anyway. And if you play your cards right, you can have the pool all to yourself.

Break Out the Bar Cart (and Other Furniture)

There are many milestones of adult life that make you stop and think, "Wow, I've really grown up," but none hit quite the same as upgrading the rickety plastic chairs on your porch. Like, you're buying furniture with the express purpose of putting it outdoors, knowing it will eventually get ruined. Nothing says adulthood like willingly sacrificing home goods. And nobody wants to go to a party without somewhere to sit, so get yourself a proper patio set. While you’re at it, throw in a bar cart, put a variety of tequilas on it, and roll around making cocktails for your guests like the margarita guy at Casablanca in Venice. Everybody loves that guy.

Stick A Theme on That Party

Nothing gets the people of a certain age going like imagining their lives are literally anything else. From luaus in Tommy Bahama shirts to coastal grandmother garden parties in Nancy Myers–approved linens, adding a theme is a great way to pleasantly complicate your shindig. Plus, themes let you get a little wilder with all aspects of the soiree, from the cocktails to the games to the cookouts. Sure, you don’t need an excuse to roast an entire pig on a spit in their backyard, but if you call it a Lord of the Flies party, nobody will question you. About anything.

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