No, Julian Edelman Isn't Joining Tom Brady On The Buccaneers

In the world of sports, there are certain days that are known for flurries of player movement activities. April 1 is one of those days, with the only twist being that pretty much none of the reported trades, signings, or retirements are actually happening. Every year like clockwork, a handful of athletes are possessed by the spirit of comedy itself to construct a most intelligent jape! I shall say I am to be signed or traded, yet this will be a farce! High comedy indeed! I’ll be crowned as the Joker King of April Fools!

This year Julian Edelman, formerly of the New England Patriots, decided to make the most gullible men in Massachusetts spit hot Dunkin all over their phone screen by announcing that he would be signing with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. You see, that’s where Tom Brady plays now, and also (possibly) Rob Gronkowski. That’s why him going to the Buccaneers would sort of make sense. Which I guess is a joke.

At least this one does use some sort of relevant information or pattern like “all the old Patriots are joining Tom Brady in Tampa” which gives it a slight edge over the tweets that are just like “I’m retiring lol.” I mean, in the grand scheme of things, it’s not like these fun little athlete jokes are really doing harm. They honestly just kind of float by in the aether. But they’re a form of the type of April Fool’s joke that is the absolute worst, usually deployed by the least funny person you know.

This April Fool’s Joke is “lying.” Not basing a joke off of anything, not exerting any effort, just saying something that’s not true. To the person doing it, I guess this is what they think a prank is. It is also what a kindergartener thinks a joke is. When someone decides to get someone with this classic bit, here is the hilarity that usually ensues:

EMPEROR OF PRANKS: “I’m moving to Alaska.”

CLUELESS RUBE: “Huh? Really?”

EMPEROR OF PRANKS: “No, April Fools!”

CLUELESS RUBE: “Oh.”

Then 30 seconds of silence before one of them panics and says they have to go to the bathroom.

So c’mon athletes. Try a little harder with your April Fool’s jokes. Do something dangerous. Trick a UFC fighter into opening one of those cans of peanut brittle that’s just snakes.

Top Image: Jeffrey Beale/All Pro Reels