Manscaped is All That's Standing Between You and Below-the-Belt Grooming Anarchy

Manscaped is All That's Standing Between You and Below-the-Belt Grooming Anarchy

This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.

It probably feels like hair in the nether regions grows faster than in other places on your body, but that's just an old wives' tale. Of course, the other thing those old wives will probably tell you is that they aren't big fans of their guys letting it all go wild down there. It can get real unwieldy real fast, and honestly, fellas, who really wants to deal with that? Not her. And certainly not you.

Taking some control and assuring you don't morph into an unkempt oaf should probably be near the top of your priority list, but if you feel unprepared to tackle that funky thicket, no worries. Manscaped has an entire line of devices and skincare products all designed for use in those mostly uncharted wastelands. The pinnacle of Manscaped's extraordinary body grooming powers is their flagship Performance Package 4.0 kit. The Avengers of the groin contouring world, this set of precision tools and skincare is a one-stop collection to boost your grooming game almost instantly.

And if you're looking for the true Captain America of this set, the unquestioned leader, then you're looking to the unrivaled Lawn Mower 4.0. Powered by a premium 7,000 RPM motor with QuietStroke technology and a 600mA li-ion rechargeable battery, it's the Cadillac of clippers. And since it's tasked with maintaining order in an often unruly terrain, the Lawn Mower also comes packing some extras that lesser devices can't, like the replaceable ceramic blades featuring SkinSafe technology. They're actually set back about 3MM from the edge of the trimmer, offering up the most nuanced shave since Ramsay and Reek while ensuring the utmost safety and confidence a guy can have with a blade that close to his baby-making equipment.

While the Lawn Mower may be the star, however, it isn't the only member of the Performance Package team worthy of some headlines. The set also comes with the formidable Weed Whacker ear and nose hair trimmer as well as Magic Mat shaving mats for keeping your bathroom clean and tidy when discarded hair inevitably goes flying everywhere. Shoppers also get bottles of Manscaped's Crop Preserver, their anti-chafing deodorant, as well as their Crop Reviver, a spray toner with aloe and witch hazel to keep skin in that often problematic area refreshed, healthy, and smelling like a Sephora (trust us, chicks love that smell). Take your cues from some of Manscaped's biggest fans, like Jimmy K. who literally said it gave him "the fastest and closest shave I've ever had!" Endorsements don't come more ringing than that.

Physically feel your attractiveness and confidence grow with a Manscaped Performance Package standing at the ready. Regularly over $215, they're available now through the Manscaped website at almost half off, down to only $119.99, so you can take half off (or whatever your aesthetic preference may be).

Prices subject to change

Scroll down for the next article


Forgot Password?