Amazon Already Owns You So You Might As Well Get A Ton Of Their Stuff For Free

Amazon Already Owns You So You Might As Well Get A Ton Of Their Stuff For Free

This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.

They say if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Well, Jeff Bezos might as well be from Pluto, but his company's technology is absolutely everywhere. It's also, ugh, really useful and makes our lives easier, even if it might be spying on us, harvesting our information, and preparing us for the Great Culling. But before that time comes, you might as well have the best life you can, right?

So what do you have to lose? Enter the Amazing Amazon Smart Entertainment Giveaway by October 10, and you could win more than $5,000 worth of Amazon goodies. From smart tech like the Ring Doorbell and Echo Dot to programs like Amazon Prime and Audible, you'll be set to live a more hassle-free, intricately connected life until the Echo Tank comes for us all. You'll even get $1,000 to spend on whatever else you want on Amazon. Specifically, you'll get:

  • Ring 4-Pack Spotlight Cam Battery
  • Ring Video Doorbell Elite
  • 5 Years of Amazon Prime
  • 5 Years of
  • $1,000 Gift Card to
  • Kindle Paperwhite
  • Echo Studio
  • Echo Dot
  • 2 Echo Shows
  • 2 Fire HD 8 Tablets
  • 2 Fire 7 Kids' Tablets
  • Toshiba 50" Smart 4K UHD with Dolby Vision Television: Fire TV Edition
  • 2 liters of virgin blood (not really)

To enter, all you have to do is make a donation to The Playing for Change Foundation, a nonprofit creating positive change around the world through music and arts education. The more you enter, the more entries you receive, so pony up a little bit. It's for a good cause, and you might win a ton of cool stuff. If that isn't a reason to give to charity, we don't know what is! After all, who needs warmth in your heart when you have free two-day shipping?

Oh, and if you hate music and arts education, you can still take your chances by entering once for free here. Just know that we're judging you.

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