This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
You're busy these days. Working from home, you're fully preoccupied with eating snacks in your underwear, watching Netflix over the top of your computer, and taking mid-day naps. You can't be bothered to entertain the animals or, heaven forbid, clean. As a result, your home is disgusting, and your pets have been making eyes at your neighbor as they walk past your window with their own, more engaged brood.
At some point, something's gotta give, so allow us to offer a solution. The Floor Cleaning Robot Vacuum will both entertain the animals and clean up your messes for you without you lifting a finger.
What? You want a brand name? Why? That's just wasted money on logo design and product placement. The Floor Cleaning Robot Vacuum has an ultra-thin build so it can slip under tight spaces with its 1,600Pa suction power to clean up dust, dirt, crumbs, and other nasty stuff on your floors. With an extra large dust bin and multiple cleaning modes, it can store more detritus while working on multiple surfaces. (But not carpet. Do not set this thing loose in your mom's shaggified monster of a house. Bless her heart, she's still stuck in the '70s.)
You can set appointments for it to clean, and as it does its work at a low volume, your pets will lose their minds with joy bounding around it as it cleans. It's like a bulkier, more useful laser pointer. Thanks to intelligent anti-collision and anti-drop, you won't have to worry about it running into your dog's paws or falling down the stairs, either. Best of all, once the battery reaches 20%, it'll automatically recharge itself.
Lean into the laziness. Clean your home without lifting a finger with the Floor Cleaning Robot Vacuum, now on sale for 69% off at just $39.95.
Prices are subject to change.