This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Behold! Spring is nigh, and you're ... still stuck inside. Nuts. Don't sit around all day, yearning to be making huge mistakes in some exotic locale. Sit around all day, shopping online! We've rounded up a bunch of deals that will get you almost as amped up as a beach deejay. (Or "beach-jay," as we like to call it but nobody else will because it kinda sounds like something else if you don't really enunciate. Will you help us get it going?)
Farting Frenchies: A Card Game, $17.99 (reg. $24), a savings of 28%
This Kickstarter-funded card game will give Lady Gaga's dog walker some serious flashbacks, so do not play it with them. Everyone else will love it, though! Collect, feed, and yes, steal Frenchies from one another to become top dog! (But seriously, we wish you a speedy recovery, Ryan.)
Automatic Ball Return Practice Hole, $24.99 (reg. $35), a savings of 28%
Only peasants chase after their own balls! This putting practice hole spits the ball back to you like a good little caddy.
Xpods Pro True Wireless Earbuds + Charging Case, $49.99 (reg. $69.99) with promo code XPOD20
They may look a little like Apple AirPods Pro, but they're literally a quarter of the price. The customizable tips form a noise-isolating seal while two microphones let you have clearer conversations on the go. Oh, and the sound is good, too.
BUZIO Weighted Blanket, $69.99 (reg. $79), a savings of 12%
Feeling like you haven't been hugged in a while? Yeah, us, too. Fortunately, this weighted blanket uses hypoallergenic glass beads to evenly spread weight across your lonely meat shell. It's like being hugged on command but way cheaper than a personal hugger.
JBL Flip 5 Portable Waterproof Speaker with Case (Refurbished), $99.99 (reg. $139), a savings of 28%
The Flip 5 is one of the most versatile and boomiest (just go with it) portable speakers on the market. With a waterproof design, racetrack-shaped drivers, and 12-hour battery life, it's the ultimate accessory to all those trips you'll simply have to take this summer.
Beats Solo3 Wireless On-Ear Headphones, $159.99 (reg. $299), a savings of 46%
Thanks to its partnership with Apple, the Beats Solo3 offers an elite Apple W1 chip that delivers up to 40 hours of playback, fine-tuned acoustics, and elite connectivity. No wonder they have a 4.6-star rating on Amazon.
SALTED Smart Insoles, $199.99 (reg. $229), a savings of 13%
If your golf swing sucks, it might be your feet's fault, but that doesn't mean you can just mope around, blaming your inadequate arches. These smart insoles pair with an app to accurately measure how your weight shifts when you swing, helping you smooth out those kinks and swing more evenly.
PhiGolf: Mobile & Home Smart Golf Simulator with Swing Stick, $190 (reg. $249) with promo code GOLF10
Nothing says spring like getting out on the links, but if you're an eager beaver, you can play a few rounds at home while it's still frigid outside. This simulator pairs with an app and comes with a swing stick so when you shank the ball, you'll really shank the ball!
UPERFECT 15.6" Portable Monitor, $197.99 (reg. $219), a savings of 10%
If you're working from home, this portable monitor will make your life a lot easier. You can connect it to your phone or laptop to get 1080p HD resolution, quad speakers, and all the ports you need to connect your devices. You perfect, so get UPERFECT.
Sharpin Ultra: Tabletop Digital Pinball Machine, $599.99 (reg. $724), a savings of 17%
For the true pinball wizards out there, the Sharpin Ultra will have you blasting The Who on repeat. The digital bar top machine lets you play a variety of Android pinball games or connect to a PC to play even more. You might think there has to be a twist, but no, it's just a really cool little machine.
Prices subject to change.