Are you looking to spice up your social media laments about being "muzzled" by nonexistent internet censorship, masks, or whatever is mildly irritating you that day? Do you want to add a bit of a romantic flair to touting baseless conspiracies online? Have you dreamt of learning about all the wacky theories the French have to offer in these trying times, in an attempt to make the U.S. seem slightly less screwed?
'Well folks, It seems once again, Saturday Night Live's Kenan Thompson has you covered. During Sunday's Golden Globe Awards, Thompson revived a quintessentially 2021 spiritual successor to his iconic All That sketch, "Everyday French with Pierre Escargot," where he taught America's youth how to say ever-important phrases like "my toilet is full of sweet tomatoes" and "I told you I have gas," all from the comfort of his Parisian bathtub. However this time, Thompson ditched the nonsensical phrases for something a bit more useful in today's society, instructing viewers on how use the language of love to spew nonsensical conspiracies.
During the show, Thompson appeared alongside fellow comedian, and SNL alum, Maya Rudolph, partaking in a comedy sketch bringing the unbridled joy of sloppy nerve-wracking acceptance speeches to this year's very digital ceremony. Taking the stage as their very French -- and very tipsy -- alter egos, Rudolph's Beverly Jack Fruit and Thompson's Francois Jean-Rudy, the pair stumbled up to the podium to accept the fictional award for "least original song," with the actress taking care to hand the show's co-host Amy Poehler three pairs of shoes, boasting about her "vodka epidural" all while intensely and very uncomfortably flirting with her "brother" -- I guess someone at the Hollywood Foreign Press Association really misses Game of Thrones.
Yet amid these antics, Thompson, who had stayed mum for the majority of the sketch, finally spoke out expelling several conspiracies in French, as the Bizzaro-world rendition of his 90's sketch staple. "He would like to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press and he would like to thank everyone," Rudolph said, translating his every word. "He would like to let everyone know that he thinks Covid-19 is a hoax, and that lasers control the weather. Also he is asking me for a divorce."
So the Golden Globes may have not been an exact Pierre Escargot revival, but it was definitely All That. Happy awards season, folks!