Matt Damon Signs More Autographs for ‘Team America’ Than for the Movies He’s Actually In
Matt Damon can do more than just say his own name — he writes it, too
- Authors
- By Keegan Kelly
- Published
- Comments
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0
0 15 Jokes That Are Like a Get-Out-of-Depression-Free Card
This card may be kept until needed or sold
- Authors
- By Jesse
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- 0
7 Great Comedies That You Can’t Stream Anywhere
Where are you when we need you, Blockbuster?
- Authors
- By Matt Solomon
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10 Best Burns From Triumph The Insult Comic Dog’s Coverage of Trump Trial
“I would say Trump is the most obviously innocent man in the whole world now that O.J. is dead.”
- Authors
- By Matt Solomon
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- Comments
- 0
6 Great Vacation Destinations for Supervillains
Sir, the maniacal laughter is coming off as disrespectful
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- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
- 2
CRACKED Store
This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Life is hard. There's a dang pandemic raging about, and winter is beating the ever-loving bejeezus out of us. It's as good a time as any for some retail therapy, so we've rounded up some cool things that will make your life a little less grim. Check them out.
Chargeworx AirPods Pro Accessory Kit
MSRP: $19
You paid an absurd amount of money for your AirPods Pro, so take care of them with this kit. It includes a magnetic neck strap, a watch band holder, a silicone case, and carabiner to protect and keep track of them.
4-in-1 Wireless Charging Station
MSRP: $45
We've all got too many dang devices these days, so you might as well get a single pad to charge them all. This guy can wirelessly charge a Qi-compatible iPhone, two sets of AirPods, and an Apple Watch all at once.
B-2 BLITZ Tactical Pocket Knife
MSRP: $75
This extra-strength, mini-knife folds up and fits nicely in your pocket. Dwight Schrute probably has two.
HUDWAY Glass Heads-Up Navigation Display
MSRP: $59
This clever heads-up navigation display lets you see where you're going without taking your eyes off the road. Never again try to keep one eye on the road and the other on your phone or, god forbid, let shotgun tell you where to go in their own special language in which "right" actually means "left." This display puts the route right in front of you.
HyperGear Quake Wireless Speaker with Built-in Power Bank
MSRP: $59
Bring your soundtrack everywhere and make the earth quake with this powerful wireless speaker. It also includes a built-in power bank to charge your devices. It's a certified beast.
MSRP: $69
Bad golf swing? This mechanical golf training aid might help. It attaches to your club and maneuvers whenever you break a square club face to keep your swing in line. It's like training wheels for your ball thwacker.
Omniball: Omnidirectional Rolling Weights
MSRP: $79
If planks aren't already hard enough, you can add the Omniball to add some natural imbalance, you monster. It forces you to work a little bit harder, triggering more muscles in your core, so before you know it, you'll be able to beat a guy up with just your abs.
ExoGun DreamPro Percussion Massage Device
MSRP: $599
Now, you probably won't get into some kind of sexy Ghost percussion massage scenario like the image above, but this powerful massager will come in handy when you're sore after a workout. If you do find some sexy person to wield it, all the better.
Aura Smart Strap for Apple Watch
Decided to get into fitness this year? Good on you! If we know you, though, you're a big nerd, so add this strap to your Apple Watch to get bioimpedance analysis on things like body fat, muscle mass, and more statsy goodness.
This Indiegogo-funded drone is designed for first-person viewing flight. It reaches speeds of up to 45 miles per hour and does all kinds of flip and flops, but it's so easy to fly, your dog could do it. Seriously. Please try to teach them. Send video.
MSRP: $215
Sale Price: $145
Prices subject to change.
Must Read
32 Trivia Tidbits About the Paranormal, the Supernatural and the Unexplained
Real? Fake? Too strange to explain? We need your help!
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- By Cracked Writers, Jay L'Ecuyer
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- Comments
- 0
33 Random Bits of Trivia We Inherited From a Wealthy Distant Relative We Didn’t Know We Had
Facts you didn’t even know you needed
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- By Cracked Writers, Jay L'Ecuyer
- Published
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5 Real-Life ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ Situations
By far the grimmest way to wear a pair of sunglasses
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 0
Rob McElhenney Can Sniff Out a Philadelphian in One Question
The ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ co-creator can spot a fellow Philly native just by the cheesesteak stains on their Mike Schmidt jersey
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- By Keegan Kelly
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25 Nonsensical Rules People Had to Follow
‘I used to work in an office where you had to ask to use the restroom’
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- By Ian Garner
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35 Surprising Facts About Actors and Musicians That’ll Make You Quadruple-Take
What? Wait — What?? Wait — What?!?! Wait — WHAT?!?! Like that
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- By Jesse
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MUST READ
Matt Damon Signs More Autographs for ‘Team America’ Than for the Movies He’s Actually In
Matt Damon can do more than just say his own name — he writes it, too
- Authors
- By Keegan Kelly
- Published
- Comments
- 0
10 Best Burns From Triumph The Insult Comic Dog’s Coverage of Trump Trial
“I would say Trump is the most obviously innocent man in the whole world now that O.J. is dead.”
- Authors
- By Matt Solomon
- Published
- Comments
- 0
6 Great Vacation Destinations for Supervillains
Sir, the maniacal laughter is coming off as disrespectful
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
- 2
