We Used Math To Prove Being Santa Would Be Endless Torture

The Santa Clause is the heartwarming family tale of Tim Allen murdering Santa Claus which seems like a pretty good deal until you do some math and realize that single night of delivering presents lasts thousands of years thanks to Santa's magical time-stopping powers. Which makes us wonder, did Tim Allen actually kill Santa, or did Santa fake his death to escape from the endless torture of being Big Man Christmas? We investigate with Movie Math!

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Partially inspired by the articles 5 Killer Ways Fans Fixed Movie Plot Holes and 5 Christmas Movies You Never Realized Had Insane Messages.

Writer: Jordan Breeding
Editing: Jordan Breeding, Andy Sowar
Math Double-Checked By: Will Grier

Check out Jordan's other work, or connect on Twitter.

Be sure to subscribe to Cracked's YouTube channel to check out episodes of our new and classic series, like Your Brain On CrackedWe Remade Tenet For $20Movie MathWait A Minute... What?and Cracked Debate.

Join us Fridays at 3pm EST for brand-new Cracked shows and series!

To turn on reply notifications, click here

26 Comments

Load Comments