This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
For better or worse, we live in a Capitalist society, which means we have the right -- nay, the obligation -- to buy anything that amuses us for even a few seconds. Life is fleeting, friends. You may as well spend it playing with black diamond knives, so we've rounded up some of the coolest deals on the web on things you didn't know you needed. Just use coupon code SAVE15NOV for a limited time to get an extra 15% off.
Get the Twisty(TM) Glass Original for $25.49 (Reg. $49.99) with promo code SAVE15NOV.
You've never met a pipe that's easier to pack than Twisty. It's basically like one of those electronic corkscrews except for herbs.
Get the Sunday Scaries CBD Gummies for $25.49 (Reg. $36) with promo code SAVE15NOV.
Attack the Sunday Scaries head-on with these CBD gummies. They're made from full-spectrum, high-quality hemp that will help even you out so you're not bouncing here and there and everywhere.
Get the B-2 BLITZ Tactical Pocket Knife for $30.59 (Reg. $75) with promo code SAVE15NOV.
This Kickstarter-funded knife is inspired by the famed B-2 bomber. It has a heft build and a tanto blade, so it won't break when you inevitably use it to pry the lid off a jar of peanut butter.
Get the Bamboo 6-Piece Smart Pocket Sheets in taupe and king for $33.99 (Reg. $129) with promo code SAVE15NOV.
Looking for a new set of sheets for winter? Look no further than these super-soft and cozy bamboo sheets. They even have little pockets in the side for your phone, tissues, or -- you know -- whatever other nighttime accessories you need. We're not here to judge, and neither are these sheets.
Get the Earhoox: AirPod Survival Kit for $33.99 (Reg. $49) with promo code SAVE15NOV.
Apple's AirPods ain't cheap! You'd think they'd make them fit in your ears better, but they don't, probably so you'll lose them and buy more. We're onto you, Apple. This anti-loss kit protects your AirPods from drops, so they can't scam you.
Get the High Definition Monocular Telescope for $39.91 (Reg. $54) with promo code SAVE15NOV.
This monocular telescope can magnify things by up to 60 times, making it especially cool for nature lovers or anyone else who needs to see things that are far away. Note that we said "things." Stop spying on the neighbors, Dad.
Get the blurams Dome Pro 1080p Security Camera for $42.50 (Reg. $59) with promo code SAVE15NOV.
Even if the most valuable thing you own is an autographed cardboard cutout of Jose Conseco, one man's Bash is another man's treasure, so let this simple security camera help you protect it. It streams real-time footage to your phone and sends you alerts so you can stay in the loop if something doesn't seem right at home or just check on your mailman. You get worried about him.
Get the EarFun Air True Wireless BT 5 Earbuds for $46.75 (Reg. $99) with promo code SAVE15NOV.
They got "fun" in the name, so they must be awesome, right? These earbuds have custom-built composite cellulose drivers for superior sound and enhanced 4-microphone call technology so you can block out the noise around you on calls. Plus, they have a 35-hour battery life with the included charging case so you can tune out the world for a full day and a half at a time.
Get the PowerHBQ Pro Bluetooth 5.0 Headphones for $46.75 (Reg. $59) with promo code SAVE15NOV.
Working out will be slightly less agonizing with these headphones. They're built for elite athletes with adjustable, secure-fit ear hooks and an IPX4 water-resistant design that will fend off sweat and rain like your own tiny, hydrophobic ninja.
Get the Star Galaxy Night Light Projector for $59.50 (Reg. $229) with promo code SAVE15NOV.
Don McLean probably didn't write "Vincent" while looking at this projector's work in his bedroom, but he definitely could have. Can't rule it out.
Get the Evertone(TM) Prosage Deep Tissue Massager for $82.44 (Reg. $149) with promo code SAVE15NOV.
Treat all of your muscle pain directly at the source with this handheld personal massager. With three intensity levels, you can customize your treatment from "a li'l achey" to "destroy me, daddy."
Get the Townew: The World's First Self-Sealing & Changing Trash Can for $89.25 (Reg. $119) with promo code SAVE15NOV.
Nobody gets up in the morning like, "Man, I am positively raring to take out the garbage." While we patiently await the arrival of robot butlers, this garbage can actually seal and change its own bags, so all you'll have to do is toss it.
Get the Rexing(R) V3 Dual Full HD WiFi Dash Cam for $143.65 (Reg. $199) with promo code SAVE15NOV.
Turn your car into a permanent eyewitness with this comprehensive dash cam. It comes with front and in-cabin Full HD cameras (plus built-in Wi-Fi, internal GPS logger, and IR night vision) to capture everything on the road as well as which of your kids started the fight in the backseat.
Get the Black Diamond Knife Block & 4-Piece Precision Professional Knife Set for $144.42 (Reg. $215) with promo code SAVE15NOV.
Every chef (no matter how bad they are) needs a great set of knives. These gorgeous knives are infused with black diamond and made with ergonomic handles to make quick work of virtually any cooking challenge so you can feel like Gordon Ramsay even if you're just making fries.
Get the Fusion FX Heated Percussion Massage Gun for $212.50 (Reg. $249) with promo code SAVE15NOV.
Get the best, most targeted massage of your life whenever you want with this high-powered personal massager. It even dispenses heat to help relax away the pain.