This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Michelle McNamara's relentless pursuit of the EAR/ONS rapist, later dubbed The Golden State Killer, evolved into a best-selling book and, now, an HBO series. The craziest thing about this whole story -- besides the tragic twist that McNamara herself died before she completed the book -- is that a DNA kit from 23andMe went a long way towards identifying the killer. That said, if you're not a murderer, it could be really cool to get your DNA sampled to better understand your heritage and help suss out the mysteries of human relationships. (If you are, just close out now and turn yourself in, you big jerk.)
Vitagene is a health-focused DNA kit that uses your DNA sample to provide you with actionable health plans based on your lifestyle and goals. If you want to brag to everyone at socially distant yoga in the park that you're just naturally inclined toward a mean chaturanga, this is the kit for you.
Feeling a little richer and a little more curious? Vitagene's premium kit also details your genetic risk for common skin conditions including acne, eczema, photoaging, and more.
This full ancestry experience is one of the most advanced in the business, providing a complete overview of your ancestry delivered in an intuitive online platform. It accounts for over 150 regions, including subregional ancestry breakdowns, and extends back 80,000 years. Don't act like you don't wanna know more about your great-great-great-great-cavemommy.
A MiaDNA test kit helps you understand how your DNA impacts your fitness. It will give you a full breakdown of what you should be eating, how you should be exercising, and more, because frankly, planning all that stuff yourself is exhausting. Why not let your genes take the wheel?
We know how overwhelming GNC is, so before you go, get a Vitamins DNA Test. This kit will help you understand what vitamins you're likely to be short on and what you have in excess. You know, genetically.
Explore up to 1,000 years of your family ancestry with this kit that also focuses on the genetic variants that can impact the way your body metabolizes vitamins and minerals. Find out why you're always tired and approximately who to blame. (Curse you, Great Uncle Seamus!)