This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
As the coronavirus pandemic continues to affect all ways of life, it's important to maintain certain precautions to help flatten the curve. For instance, you're not cool if you go outside without a mask when you were explicitly told to figure out a mask. Also, you should know that COVID-19 can live on surfaces (especially metal ones) for up to five days, making it entirely possible that you go to the gas station, observe social distancing, and still get sick (or make someone else sick). Since life doesn't stop entirely, the CLEANKEY(TM) Antimicrobial Brass Hand Tool may be your ticket to going outside without accidentally becoming a serial killer.
CLEANKEY(TM) is like an extra finger that lets you use touchscreens, press buttons, open doors, and anything else you have to do with your hands without getting them dirty. It's kind of like being an analog cyborg. This ingenious device is made of 62% copper, making it inherently antimicrobial. That's right: It's a metal that kills germs purely on the strength of being so metal. That doesn't mean it doesn't get dirty, but you can clean it with a quick scrub of steel wool or a disinfectant wipe. The ergonomic design makes it easy to attach to your keychain and use seamlessly while reducing your point of contact area with surfaces by 99%. It even comes with a retractable carabiner to make it extra easy to incorporate into your everyday carry. Just whip it out like a wholesome switchblade and never touch anything again.
Stay safe when you're forced by the cruel gods of groceries to leave the house. CLEANKEY(TM) is an essential if you spend a lot of time in public spaces, and right now, it's 20% off $24.99 at just $19.99. You can also get a 2-pack for 23% off $49.98 at $37.99 or a 3-pack for 33% off $74.97 at $49.99.
Prices subject to change.