This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Pop quiz, hot shot: What day is Mother's Day this year? You don't know, do you? You sorry son of a lovely woman who deserves a nice present. It's May 10, for the record. That might seem like a long ways away, but with shipping delays across the country, now's the time to pick out that perfect gift to be delivered safely and promptly to her door on Mother's Day morning. It'll be like you never even needed this not-so-subtle reminder from your friends here at Cracked. You ingrate.
Save your pathetic hide from some devastating maternal disappointment with this Small White Box with Roses. Each box contains nine or ten extra-large roses sourced from Ecuador, and like the Beast's everlasting rose in Beauty and the Beast, these roses are carefully preserved to stay fresh for way, way longer than a normal rose. They're actually better, in fact, because they don't carry any chronologically confusing curses. They should stay fresh for more than a full year without any maintenance, so even you can't screw it up. (As long as you keep the box away from excessive heat or moisture, that is. And how hard is that? Just don't stick Mom's roses under the hood of her car. This is basic stuff.)
Finally make Mom proud this year. Normally $199, this Small White Box with Roses is 25% off at $149.25 now.
Prices subject to change.