This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Life is full of distractions, but add one little plague and suddenly, there aren't enough of them. You're stuck at home with nothing to do anyway, so why not use this time to learn a new language? There are loads of great programs to help you learn a language online so you'll be ready to start globetrotting as soon as you can get on a plane again.
Babbel is the world's top-grossing language learning app for good reason. Developed by over 100 expert linguists, the only easier way to speak a new language quickly and confidently is to actually shove a magic fish in your ear. Get access to all 14 languages in the Babbel library with this deal.
MosaLingua is one of the top-reviewed language learning programs on the web. With 8 million users and more than 100,000 reviews on iTunes and the Google Play Store for an overall rating of 4.5 stars, consumers love it, and it was also voted as one of the best educational apps by UK parents and awarded the Tutora Best Educational App of 2017. It's also available for a literal fraction of its usual price right now, so if you don't get it, we can only conclude that you hate other languages.
Magiclingua will get you on a learning track to become fluent in Spanish by the end of 10 weeks of rigorous learning. With ten weeks of exercises and 300 videos explaining Spanish grammar, you'll progress slowly until you're ready for the final challenge: A 15-minute conversation with a native speaker. Think of them like an unusually friendly end boss.
uTalk's 30-million-user community will help you overcome language barriers by teaching you real, practical vocabulary in any one of 140 available languages. Using uTalk's educational programs designed to help you converse like a local, you can learn on your own time, on any device, from anywhere. Sure, you're limited to your own home right now, but no one will know if you practice on the toilet.
Beelinguapp takes a unique, listening-based approach to language education. It's an audiobook, allowing you to follow the narration in the text of two different languages side by side, training your brain to make connections. Beelinguapp's innovative approach has earned it an Editor's Choice Award from the Google Play Store. "Read more" is probably another one of your quarantine goals anyway, so why not kill two birds with one linguistic stone?
Don't you hate when a song gets stuck in your head? That's called an earworm, and it's annoying. However, it's also a useful language education tool, as you'll realize when you start using Earworms. This version will take you to an intermediate level in German, which is uniquely suited to all of the angry outbursts you're probably keeping inside.
Language Zen provides a more personal touch than most online learning platforms. It adapts to every user using machine learning to identify your individual strengths and weaknesses, thereby creating a truly personalized education experience. It also won't look down on you the way a human teacher probably would, at least on the inside. Language Zen doesn't judge.
Across five courses and 15 hours of training, this quick and easy bundle will get you speaking conversational Spanish in no time! You'll be all set to order cervezas and stroll along la playa the moment you're physically allowed.
Maybe croissants are more to your taste? This program breaks down the French language into 30 days of lessons, helping you slowly progress to a conversational level. Don't worry if you can't get those Rs right. The baker will know what you mean.
Is Italian more your speed? This 30-day lesson plan will have you zipping around the piazza on a Vespa saying "ciao" to native speakers in just a month, provided the world has not ended by then.
Prices subject to change.