This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Your bathroom is a sacred space. Hallowed ground. Don't let it be just any old room of ceramics. We've rounded up some of the coolest bathroom accessories around so you can make your whiz palace a, well, palace.
Falling all over yourself to get to the bathroom in the middle of the night is a bad look. GlowBowl(R) sees you coming and shines a light to help you get to your sweet paradise safely. Don't worry, he closes his eyes once you sit down.
While the GlowBowl(R) works outside the toilet, IllumiBowl works inside the toilet with all sorts of bright colors. It's really just a matter of preference, ya know?
The illumiBowl Toilet Projector Night Light goes beyond simply shining a light, projecting images into the toilet bowl for whatever purpose you see fit. Unfortunately, you can't customize it with a photo of your high school principal, but the four appropriate images include a target, a rose, a fish, and a poop emoji. Think of it as tracing.
Don't let surprise guests with full bladders catch you off-guard with a toilet that looks like it belongs in the bar in Trainspotting. This brush will help you keep it clean while the base cleans the brush so everything stays nice and sanitized. It's the closest you're ever going to come to having a maid.
Believe it or not, you've probably been pooping wrong. If more bathroom trips than you'd like to admit end with grunting and straining, a poopin' stool might honestly change your life. This one gets you right up on your tippy toes into an optimal squatting position, clearing the chute so you can drop the kids off at the pool more comfortably than ever.
There are plenty of scented bathroom products designed to cover up smells after they've been dealt, but give this spray a spritz into the bowl and it'll be like nobody was ever there at all. "Ghost poop" probably wasn't a thing you ever thought you would be offered, but don't you want to secretly think of it like that in your head now?
Turn your toilet into one of those European toilets with this simple bidet seat. Its powerful spray and leak-free operation gives you a hygienic, eco-friendly clean and permission to feel classy. You can talk to it with a French accent if you want. We won't tell.
Oh, you fancy, huh? Pamper thy buttocks with this attachable bidet seat. It'll give you a thorough, well-aimed, more eco-friendly cleaning than toilet paper.
If you thought there was no room left for innovation in toilet seat technology, you'd better buckle up. Seriously, the Brondwell Swash 1400 might knock you right over. It gives you a heated seat not unlike a throne, a warm water wash, a warm air dryer, a nightlight, and a deodorizer to clean up your tracks. It even has programmable user settings so everyone in the family can set the bidet up to clean the right spots. Don't you just hate it when your butt-washer is even slightly off-course? Sadly, you'll have to stop complaining about that if you buy this, but it'll be worth it.