10 Halloween 2019 Costume Ideas For Extremely Lazy People
As much as we love Halloween, making elaborate costumes can be a real pain in the butt (literally if you accidentally sit on the hot glue gun). If you have parties to attend, but would rather sink your time into consuming as much candy as your organs can process than into thinking of a creative outfit, we came up with some simpler suggestions, inspired by some of the year's biggest movies and TV shows. For example ...
Avengers: Endgame -- Grieving Man, The MCU's First Explicitly LGBT Character
Avengers: Endgame is the highest-grossing movie of all time. But dressing up like one of its costumed heroes is an expensive, potentially uncomfortable prospect. Want to go as another Endgame character? How about the Marvel Cinematic Universe's first unambiguously gay character? You know, that one guy at Captain America's support group. Played by co-director Joe Russo, the part wasn't even given a name, just "Grieving Man." To dress as this iconic character, you don't need tights or a shield; just glasses and a dark blazer.
And a bummed-out facial expression, of course.
Someone Who Was Creeped Out By The Trailer For Cats
One of the biggest moments in pop culture this year was Cats -- not the actual upcoming movie, but the godawful trailer that freaked out the internet. So instead of squeezing into a skintight furry bodysuit to go as, say, Rum Tum Tugger, go as someone who was creeped the hell out by the trailer. All you need is a laptop with the Cats trailer playing and the horrified expression of someone who just watched the trailer for Cats.
You can also get into character with pre-prepared dialogue, like "What the hell is this?" or "Is that Idris Elba?" or "I'm not a furry, I'm just saying ..."
Related: 7 Halloween Costumes You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped
The Rise Of Skywalker -- The Ghost Of Han Solo
Even though he died in The Last Jedi, Luke Skywalker will likely show up in Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker as a Force Ghost like Obi-Wan, Yoda, or those people who convinced Ebenezer Scrooge not to be such an asshole all the time. Han Solo died back in The Force Awakens, but since he wasn't a Jedi, if he's going to appear in the new movie, it will have to be as a normal ghost. So if you want to go as the Han Solo of 2019, all you really need is a vest, a toy blaster, and an old bed sheet.
Hopefully your friends don't misconstrue this as "White Supremacist Han Solo."
Stranger Things -- Random Starcourt Mall Employee
One of the most popular shows this year was the third season of Stranger Things, so it makes sense that one of the hottest Halloween costumes is the uniform for Scoops Ahoy, Starcourt Mall's ice cream parlor where Steve Harrington works. But if you're worried about the cost or unoriginality of that costume, don't worry. There are tons of other businesses in the mall. Like that Zales where a snooty employee crushed Mike's dreams of buying a silver teddy bear for Eleven. Just get a name tag, a cheap blue suit, and the kind of ugly '80s tie you can find at any thrift store.
Or how about the surprisingly enthusiastic photographer at Flash Studio, where Max and Eleven have their portraits taken? You just need a camera, a dress shirt, and terrible suspenders.
Plus a goofy wig and fake goatee, unless that's a look you've already cultivated for yourself.
Couples Costume Idea For Unhappy Couples: Dani And Christian From Midsommar
If you want to do a couples costume, but things aren't going so great, how about Dani and Christian from Midsommar? The horror hit wraps up with the unhappy pair ending their relationship on weird terms. Dani is crowned May Queen, while Christian is sewn inside a bear carcass and burned alive. Because if you're going to rip off The Wicker Man, you might as well go all the way.
For Dani, you really just need a white dress and a crown made of flowers from your neighbor's garden. For Christian, recreate his grim end by cutting a face-sized hole in an old teddy bear and wearing a matching brown sweatshirt.
If you're planning to break up on Halloween night, that makes this even better.
Jeremy Renner's Embarrassing Midlife Crisis
As we mentioned, dressing up as an Avenger can be expensive. But there is one Marvel superhero who made a big impact outside of movie theaters this year: Jeremy Renner. He released an album, starred in a series of Jeep commercials in which he listened to said album, and shut down his troll-filled personal app, presumably while again listening to his own album. All you need is a cool black T-shirt, an expression suggesting a total lack of self-awareness, and a microphone in case there's a hip house party for you to randomly pop by and perform at. Oh, and don't forget some Jeep brochures.
Of course, after some recent allegations, it's likely that no one wants to go as Jeremy Renner for Halloween. But if you do, don't forget: Instead of "Trick or treat," say "Happy Rennsday!"
Related: The 35 Most Insane Halloween Costumes From Around The World
Game Of Thrones -- Westerosi Barista
Every costume party is going to have a few Daenerys Targaryens, and likely at least one Jon Snow with a cringey incest-related pickup line. But if you want to be a Game Of Thrones character and put a minimal amount of effort into your costume, we have an idea. Famously, there was a modern coffee cup in the final season. That's now canon, which means there must be a coffee shop in Westeros. And someone has to work at that shop, right? So just get a green apron and go as a Westerosi barista.
You might want to add some blood and viscera to clarify that you're a barista from George R.R. Martin's ultra-violent fictional universe, and not just some normal Earth Starbucks. (Does not apply if you live in Florida.)
Joker -- Fake Rap Career Joker
A lot of folks will probably dress up as Joaquin Phoenix's Joker this Halloween, either because they were fans of the movie or because their local shop was all out of Pennywise costumes. If you want a fresh spin on the character that doesn't require a fancy maroon suit, why not go as a version of Joker from few years down the road? We're guessing Phoenix's Joker will abandon crime for a fake rap career, all in the service of a lame-ass mockumentary barely anyone will see. You still need to apply Joker makeup and dye your hair and beard (or fake beard) green. But any old crumpled suit will work. Plus sunglasses, of course.
Related: 16 Great Halloween Costumes For Telling Everyone You Suck
Yesterday -- Mark David Chapman
The hit movie Yesterday imagines a parallel universe in which The Beatles never existed, which in one sense is sad, but on the other hand that means that Paul McCartney's godawful Christmas song doesn't exist, so it's kind of a wash. In the end, our hero Jack actually meets an elderly John Lennon, who's still alive because he was never famous. (No clarification on whether he still beat women in this timeline, though.) You could dress as old man Lennon, or you could explore this darker implications of this premise and go as Mark David Chapman, who presumably never committed murder.
Just throw on a pair of those giant glasses and literally anything else. Because who knows where Lennon's assassin is lurking in the Yesterday-verse? And if anyone asks, just tell them you're a notorious killer freely roaming the streets in one of the year's most successful romantic comedies.
Toy Story 4 -- Forky's Previous Owner
Another popular costume this year is Forky from Toy Story 4. Unfortunately, most Forky costumes look less like an adorable cartoon character and more like an escaped carnival sideshow attraction. But remember that Forky was originally an ordinary spork. And since Forky continually insisted that he was "trash," that must mean he was a used spork. So why not represent the Pixar-verse this Halloween by going as whoever Forky's previous owner was. You literally only need a spork to do this.
Of course, it's also possible that all Toy Story-related costumes have now been ruined forever.
You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter!
For more, check out The 40 Worst Last-Minute Halloween Costumes On The Internet - The Spit Take:
Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.
Follow us on Facebook. Boo!
