The KFC Dating Sim Will Make You Fall In Love (With Chicken)

If corporations are legally people, they've become the kind of people who try way too hard to look cool. Many brands have taken a hyper-personal approach to marketing, pretending to be our good buddies who make fun YouTube skits (ads) and post dank memes and sick burns on Twitter (also ads). But now, one of these woke brand wants to take this "friendship" to the next level by making (chicken) tender love to us.

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I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin' Good Dating Simulator was made by KFC and comes out September 24. Based on the marketing, it sure hits all the beats of the Japanese visual novel genre. Set in a quaint European-looking culinary school, the player is tasked with winning the heart (and business acumen) of a young and bishie Colonel Sanders, all the while engaging with a supporting cast of intense romantic rivals, ace best friends, dog professors, and what we can only describe as a Nugget Beholder.

KFCPlease don't be tentacle hentai please don't be tentacle hentai please don't be tentacle hentai-

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While ILYCS!AFLGDS isn't the first fast food video game tie-in (it's somehow not even the first poultry-themed dating sim), it's definitely the savviest, tapping into not only the recent popularity of "ironic" dating sims like Hatoful Boyfriend and Dream Daddy, but also Steam's smut boom. All in service, of course, of furthering KFC's self-aware Gen Z-friendly brand. Just glance at the game's Steam page, and you'll find not one but two references to how "lol, so random" it is that Kentucky Fried Chicken actually made a romance video game.

Steam"We Paid People To Stealth Market Our Brand (And You Won't Believe What Happens Next)!!1!"

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Nevertheless, despite being funded by dark meat money and developed by a company dubbed the "Pixar of the spots world" (which has to be one of the most late capitalist things we've ever heard), it's obvious just by looking at I Love You, Colonel Sanders! that it was made by talented people with a lot of love and dedication. And if a free game about dating a white-haired 20-year-old dude who looks like a Confederate cosplayer all while trying to get a good grades in a dog's cooking class somehow manipulates you into buying more fried chicken, they've definitely earned that commission.

For more fowl jokes, you can always follow Cedric on Twitter.

For more, check out What The Heck Does Nintendo's Mysterious Ring Actually Do? and Forget A Remake' Do A Movie About The Making Of 'Face/Off'.

Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.

Why did the chicken follow us on Facebook?