Newly Found Lost Scene Does Not Improve The Mario Bros Movie

The most important thing you need to know here is that we're only seeing this deleted scene because of the tireless work of the Super Mario Bros.: The Movie Archive, a brave collective of people whose goal is to clean up the footage of 1993's Super Mario Bros. for an eventual snazzy 4K release, for reasons that are beyond the comprehension of non-celestial beings. Finding this tape was their version of finding the Rosetta Stone. It's a movie that should be forever locked away in the 20th century, but whatever. Godspeed, you magnificent lunatics.

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The SMB Archive found the scene in a newly discovered extended rough cut of the movie that's about 15 minutes longer than the one we've all been trying to forget since '93. While completely unnecessary, it does answer a question none of us have had: What exactly is the beef between the Mario brothers and some other random plumbers who were so important they didn't make the final cut of the film?

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The question has plagued mankind for years. Simple fan theories metastasized into militant ideologies. Millions perished in cataclysmic global wars defending their contrasting beliefs in what these guys' deal was. But finally, peace can reign across the world now that we know, thanks to this scene, that those two guys are rival plumbers whom the Mario brothers do not like. We have all been spiritually enriched by this news.

Luis can be found on Twitter and Facebook. Check out his regular contributions to Macaulay Culkin's BunnyEars.com. And listen for his "Meditation Minute" segments on the Bunny Ears podcast.

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For more, check out An Obi-Wan Spinoff Is Maybe, Possibly, Finally Happening and George R.R. Martin's Feelin' Great After The Ending Of 'GOT'.

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