6 Totally Weird Marvel Movie Scenes You Forgot Existed

We all remember the Marvel Cinematic Universe's high points, like the Battle of New York or the airport fight from Captain America: Civil War. But after more than 20 films, our brains understandably have glossed over certain moments. It may be hard to imagine in the wake of the epicness of Endgame, but there have been some straight up baffling Marvel movie moments along the way. Such as ...

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6
There's A Whole Scene About How The Hulk Can't Have Sex

Before Bruce Banner transformed into Mark Ruffalo, he was all Edward Norton-y in The Incredible Hulk. Marvel's second entry in its cinematic universe has been largely forgotten, which means that a key piece of information about the Hulk has also been left by the wayside. We are, of course, talking about Bruce's awkward sex life. When we first meet Dr. Banner, he's working in a Brazilian bottling plant. Because this scrawny weirdo is apparently irresistible to women, his attractive co-worker keeps mentally undressing him. Banner actively ignores her, which seems kind of odd.

Universal Pictures

Universal PicturesUnless that's her "Wasn't he in Fight Club?" face, consider our immersion broken.

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If you didn't turn the movie off and hurl your TV through a window out of boredom, later on, this makes sense. After Bruce reunites with his ex-girlfriend Betty Ross, the two eventually end up in bed together -- again, because this whiny dude meets women like a character in an Axe Body Spray commercial. It's almost the most explicit love scene in an MCU movie.

Universal Pictures... For now.

That is, until Bruce's heart rate monitor starts beeping, causing him to pull back and remark that he "can't get too excited." Yup, Bruce can't get it on because he's likely to turn into a giant green rage monster and crush Liv Tyler to death. For some reason, Marvel thought they needed to include an entire scene explaining why the Hulk has to remain celibate, lest the kids in the audience lose sleep over it. Though at least this might explain why Bruce is "always angry."

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Related: 6 Insane Plot Points Marvel Movies Refuse To Delve Into

5
Dr. Selvig Strips Naked And Yells At Tourists

Although he was portrayed as a dignified genius in Thor, the sequel Thor: The Dark World bizarrely reintroduces us to astrophysicist Dr. Erik Selvig by having him streak at Stonehenge. You might think this is all part of some kind of ancient druid ritual, but then we learn he's been harassing tourists.

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Of course, he's promptly arrested by police, who didn't think to bring a pair of spare pants along with them. Say what you will about DC Universe, but at least none of those movies opened with acclaimed actor Stellan Skarsgard's pixelated rear.

Walt Disney StudiosThough honestly, we're a little disappointed that when DC decided to copy the expanded universe idea, they didn't see this as part of the formula.

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Poor Dr. Selvig then spends most of the movie locked up in a mental institution, until his pals catch his nude exploits on TV and break him out. It turns out that he's been driven to the brink after being mind-controlled by Loki in The Avengers. Which makes one wonder why we never saw Hawkeye whip out his genitals at a famous historical landmark.

Related: According To Marvel, Loki Wasn't Really A Villain ... Huh?

4
Iron Man Drunkenly Urinates In Front Of DJ AM

Iron Man 2 sees Tony Stark battling a shirtless Mickey Rourke and a dancing Sam Rockwell -- aka regular Mickey Rourke and Sam Rockwell. One particularly odd scene is Tony's birthday party, during which Tony (who's slowly dying) gets embarrassingly hammered. He desperately tries to cling to his youth by hiring real-life celebrity disc jockey DJ AM, who tragically died less than a year before the movie came out.

Paramount PicturesYou'd think Marvel would've taken that as a clue to give this scene a rethink.

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Tony then gives a speech to his guests. It seems his inspirational speeches, like the one in Endgame, have come a long way, because here he simply pisses himself in front of a room full of people.

For some reason (alcohol) everyone cheers like he played a killer guitar solo with his teeth. Then he drunkenly hits on Pepper, but she rejects him. You know, cause he just peed in his iron pants.

Paramount PicturesWho knew that being drunk, obnoxious, and brining in urine might not woo the ladies?

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Then Tony starts using the suit to blast watermelons like some kind of cybernetic Gallagher. All of which is cringeworthy, but still slightly less so than an earlier scene which briefly halts for Pepper and Tony to greet their pal Elon Musk.

Paramount PicturesThough this might shed some light on how Musk decided to set "Worst version of Tony Stark" as his blueprint for his life.

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Elon pitches Tony an idea for an electric jet, but thankfully stops short of baselessly accusing him of being a pedophile.

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Related: 10 Impressively Subtle Sight Gags In Marvel Movies

3
The Inciting Incident Of The Incredible Hulk Is Bruce Banner Bleeding Into A Soda Bottle

We're not done with The Incredible Hulk! Remember how Bruce starts the movie working at that bottling plant and avoiding women like the plague? That dead-end job is what sets the entire plot in motion, albeit in a ridiculous (and surprisingly gross) way. While attempting to fix some equipment, Bruce accidentally cuts himself, and a big CGI blob of blood falls into the bottling area.

Universal PicturesPretty standard career move for your average multiple-PhD-holding atomic monster.

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Bruce freaks out and shuts down all the machines, but still somehow can't find the contaminated bottle, which soon gets filled with soda. Great way to start a vampire movie, off-putting way to begin a superhero adventure.

Universal PicturesWhich kinds of makes us question how someone with liquid Chernobyl pulsing through their veins decided food service was a smart idea.

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Then, in what has to be his most depressing cameo, Stan Lee drinks the soda and immediately gets gamma poisoning. What a way to honor him.

Universal Pictures

Universal Pictures"They say his last word was 'Excelsior.' No sir, none of us have any idea what that's supposed to mean."

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This prompts General Thaddeus Ross to conclude that Bruce must be working at that apparently super-unhygienic plant.

Universal Pictures"Chasing manhole-sized fist prints is getting us nowhere! If we're going to catch the Hulk, the we need to check bottling hygiene."

Really, this is what kick-starts the movie? The Hulk bleeding into a soda bottle which inadvertently sickens (and for all we know, kills) a helpless senior citizen?

Related: 6 Disturbing Messages You Never Noticed In Marvel Movies

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2
Thor's Age Of Ultron Cave Bath Alters The Course Of The MCU

It's hard to believe that a movie about using time travel to prevent cosmic genocide was the endpoint of a dude taking a dip in a magic hot tub, but that's basically what happened. Back in Avengers: Age Of Ultron, the Infinity War / Endgame saga is set up when Thor abandons his friends to go for a swim in a magic cave. Of course, he's not alone -- he recruits Dr. Selvig to come with him, probably because he's an established fan of public nudity. Before the movie came out, Stellan Skarsgard claimed that he would have yet another nude scene in Ultron, so it's possible that earlier versions of this scene were a lot more homoerotic.

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Soon Thor starts shooting lightning out of his body and having mystical visions of the Infinity Stones. There is of course a lot more lore and context here, but it sure looks like filthy cave water is marketing Marvel's future release slate.

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This sequence was dumb and random, but behind the scenes, it changed the entire franchise. How? Back then, Ultron director Joss Whedon was Marvel's go-to guy ... until they forced him to include the cave scene. The execs actually threatened to cut the scenes with Hawkeye's family, saying "Give us the cave, or we'll take out the farm." This was a factor in Whedon making a "clean break" from Marvel, paving the way for their current group of filmmakers to take charge.

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Related: The 5 Weirdest Unanswered Questions Of The Marvel Universe

1
Iron Man 3 Has The Weirdest Villain Motivation

Iron Man 3 is an idiosyncratic movie, and not just because the Mandarin is an old British soccer hooligan instead of a magical Orientalist stereotype. For one thing, the political message of this movie is confusing as hell. The plot sees wounded former soldiers being turned into suicide bombers by a crazy healing / fire (??) drug. Odder still is one of the many twists. After he's warned about an imminent attack on Air Force One, the vice president proceeds to do ...

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... absolutely nothing. Which, to be fair, is essentially his job description. Is this some half-baked commentary on American politics? No, it turns out he's in on the evil plan. Why? Well, it turns out his daughter has (dun-dun-dun) one leg! Presumably, he's cooperating with the villains so the'll cure her ... with the minor side effect that she might possibly explode at any moment like a shoddily made hoverboard.

Walt Disney Studios

Walt Disney Studios"Sir, you were just on the phone with a guy who regularly whips up cybernetic marvels. You could ask him to make her a robotic le-"
"NO! Supervillian-controlled pharmaceuticals are the only way!"

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So this guy is willing to kill the president and a bunch of innocent people just so his daughter can grow her leg back? She's not dying; she's merely confined to a wheelchair. And this is the only motivation we get for why he's cool with treason and murder, which is insane. It's also kind of offensive to suggest that amputees and their families are one dubious cure away from transforming into cold-blooded psychopaths.

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