(This article contains SPOILERS for Captain Marvel.)
Superhero movies are often full of baffling corporate cross-promotions (while we've all forgotten Fantastic 4, its Denny's tie-in meals may still be working their way through your body), and the recent smash hit Captain Marvel is no exception. The visage of Carol Danvers can be found on fresh fruit, car rental ads, and even on the side of airplanes -- which is kind of weird, considering how her origin story involves a deadly plane crash.
While we're used to movies partnering with giant corporations, Captain Marvel is also hocking goods for a less predictable ally: Nine Inch Nails. Yup, the band you used to listen to in order to alienate your parents is now selling T-shirts with its logo surrounded by the emblem of a fictional alien race from the planet Hala. Take that, Mom.
This is, of course, a reference to the fact that Carol wears a NIN shirt for a good chunk of the movie -- not because she's a fan, but because it was merely on a nearby mannequin. (At least this paves the way for Tool to one day start selling Aquaman merch.) And bizarrely, despite the fact that the movie's themes are decidedly antiwar, the U.S. Air Force is using its connection to the movie as a recruitment tool, specifically to recruit women.
The ad begins with the voiceover "Every superhero has an origin story," without adding that Captain Marvel's origin story involves almost burning to death in the Air Force, which directly leads to her being brainwashed into joining a corrupt space army, which she later violently rebels against once she discovers its genocidal aims.
Perhaps most oddly, a promotional video combines the MCU with The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills and Keeping Up With The Kardashians, as Lisa Rinna and Kris Jenner meet Captain Marvel while trying to return a handful of tapes to their local Blockbuster.
Sadly, there's no word on whether they survived Thanos' snap.
You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter!
Support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.
For more, check out The Disney Vault Is Dead, Long Live Disney+ and Scientists Will Zap Prisoners' Brains To Make Them Behave.
Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.
Follow us on Facebook. Excelsior!
Instagram influencers are often absurd.
A good horror story is hard to pull off.
All commercials are a least a little weird.
These actions stars were so bad at being badass, they were just ass.