Doubling down on his "m'lady" (which wasn't even cool back when it was a normal thing to say) stalker attitude, Dickens also followed Beadnell around. To be slightly more original, he also wrote her weird treatises on how she should accept his generous gift of a pair of gloves:
Surely, surely you will not refuse so trivial a present: a mere common place trifle; a common present even among the merest 'friends'. Do not misunderstand me: I am not desirous by making presents or by doing any other act to influence your thoughts, wishes, or feelings in the slightest degree. - I do not think I do: - I cannot hope I ever shall: but let me entreat of you do not refuse so slight a token of regard from me.
After this, the Beadnell parents shipped their daughter to Paris, where Dickens couldn't get to her, putting an end to the one-sided courting. But let's not condemn a man for how he behaved as a teenager crushing hard. Let's instead condemn him for that same crush when he was a full-grown adult and famous author. Dickens was still obsessing over Maria Beadnell 25 years later, writing her several letters asking to meet and swearing to her that his love is still as deep as it ever was:
I never can think, and I never seem to observe, that other young people are in such desperate earnest, or set so much, so long, upon one absorbing hope. It is a matter of perfect certainty to me that I began to fight my way out of poverty and obscurity, with one perpetual idea of you.
Which wasn't very deep at all, as he wrote this after she finally agreed to meet him:
We have all had our Floras, mine is living and extremely fat.
What a charmer.
Isaac Newton Was Obsessed With Sin And Wanted To Kill His Stepdad
Isaac Newton is one of the biggest badasses to grace the world of physics. Not only was he a science genius, but he was also a crazy alchemist who also spent part of his life hanging criminals and protecting the royal mint. But before all that awesomeness started, Newton had to go through the awkward phase of being a pious Christian boy.
Burnet Reading"Forgive me, Father, for all the atheist know-it-alls I will help create."
When he was a teen, Newton appeared to be constantly wracked with Catholic guilt, finding transgressions in even the smallest of his actions. We know this because one day in 1622, Newton made a definitive list of his 57 sins in his diary, split between those happening "Before Whitsunday 1662" (seven weeks after Easter) and "Since Whitsunday 1662." No one can tell what exactly happened on that day that caused Newton's desire to let it all out, but it didn't make the list.
The "sins" can easily be divided into two categories. The first can basically be described as sucking up to God, and includes things like "neglecting to pray," "gluttony," and "making a mousetrap on Thy day." A few of them also just say "relapse," and seeing as this is a teenager we're talking about, we can all figure out what that's code for. The second is good old (secular) boyish tomfoolery. Newton wrote of such japes as "Robbing my mothers box of plums and sugar," "Striving to cheat with a brass halfe crowne," and "Punching my sister." You know, the kind of thing you could see Huck Finn getting up to when he wasn't busy being a massive racist.
But then, in between all of the apple-cheeked antics, there are a few legitimately sinister entries:
13. Threatning my father and mother Smith to burne them and the house over them
14. Wishing death and hoping it to some
15. Striking many
16. Having uncleane thoughts words and actions and dreamese.
As it turned out, Young Newton had quite a few mommy issues, to the point that when his mother remarried, he developed an intense hatred for his new stepfather. Apparently, by his own admission, this resulted in the genius teenager threatening to kill both of them in a fiery inferno and beating the shit out of one or more people. Wow, Isaac, what happened to the boy who just liked to bake pies on the Lord's day?
17. Stealing cherry cobs from Eduard Storer
Too late now, Isaac!
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