"If you talk out of your asshole one more time, I'm going to stick this up it."
After Tim Burton was kicked off the Batman movie franchise for not selling enough Penguin action figures, Warner Bros. brought in director and human strobe light Joel Schumacher. Schumacher's producer had become close with Jones while filming Under Siege and The Fugitive, and thought it would great to ruin his new best friend's reputation. He gave the script to Jones, whom he wanted to play Two-Face, but after reading it, the actor said he didn't get it. The producer replied with all the grace and diplomacy you'd expect from someone who'd made several Steven Seagal vehicles:
"Oh shit! I love that guy!"
Jones called back after a few hours to accept the role. Except for a mini-stroke, what could have possible gotten him to change his mind in such a short time? Schumacher discovered the answer when he went to visit Jones a few weeks later ... and saw his son Austin's collection of Batman comic books. Yep, Jones' true motivation was to finally star in a movie that his kid could watch, instead of trying to explain to Austin why daddy is trying to stop the nice man from finding his wife's one-armed killer.
On top of having to sit in a makeup chair for three hours a day to look half man, half burger patty, Jones had to endure something even worse: Jim Carrey, who played the Riddler. On the night before filming a big scene together, Carrey saw Jones at a restaurant and stopped by his table to say hi. Jones' face turned ashen gray. He got up, hugged the comedian tight, and said, while shaking: "I hate you. I really don't like you." When Carrey asked him why, Jones replied with "I cannot sanction your buffoonery," because Tommy Lee Jones is so old that he was taught his insults by Mark Twain.
Warner Bros. Pictures