Sheen plays Dex Dogtective (because "Dog Detective" would have been too lazy), who lives in a magical fantasy land full of advertising mascots like Charlie The Tuna, Mr. Clean, and Chef Boyardee.
The Charmin Bears are surprisingly missing considering how much shit is packed in this.
And, OK, this could maybe be a cute premise for a dumb kids' flick; not everything needs to be Citizen Kane. But things go awry pretty quick. For starters, the villains are disturbingly Nazi-like.
Often an exaggeration. But not this time, folks.
The story behind the movie is almost as insane as the movie itself. Production began way back in 2002, but after the hard drives containing the movie were allegedly stolen and the original financiers bailed on it, probably after noticing that the movie -- despite costing in the neighborhood of $50 million -- looked like it was animated by a Nintendo 64.
It wasn't released until 2013 (straight to DVD, although probably only after they tried straight to VHS). A footnote: The writer, director, and guy who kept hyping up how awesome Foodfight! was going to be is Lawrence Kasanoff, who's currently hyping up how awesome his new trilogy of Tetris movies is going to be. So brace yourself for the adventures of Square and Long Piece sometime around 2057.
A&W Is The Official Root Beer Of Rapists In Supergirl
We've talked about Supergirl before. She's the one who revealed what an incestuous creep Superman really is. Like, really, surprisingly creepy. But that was in the comics, and back in the '80s, Supergirl was the star of her very own live-action movie. And since flying effects and whatever bullshit Peter O'Toole demanded for his trailer don't come cheap, the movie features some product placement. Like this fairly innocuous fight scene where Supergirl gets hurled into an A&W vending machine.
A soda machine on a college campus seems like a great way to advertise a product. Well done, everyone. Cocaine all around. Unfortunately, some of the other A&W placement in the film is less than ideal. When Supergirl first comes to Earth, she encounters two sleazy truckers, who immediately try to rape her. Notably, one of the rapists is wearing a damned A&W shirt.
"When I'm out committing horrific sexual assault, nothing slakes my thirst like a cold A&W."
Of course, Supergirl kicks his ass and knocks him into a pile of garbage. She doesn't have time for this; she has a bad movie to get back to. But that's kind of beside the point. Who at A&W had the idea to cultivate an image as the root beer of filthy sex criminals? Was this actually sponsored by those Machiavellis at Mug?
J.M. McNab co-hosts the pop culture nostalgia podcast Rewatchability, which can also be found on iTunes. Follow him on Twitter @Rewatchability.
Also check out The 5 Most Absurd Uses Of Product Placement Ever and 6 Hilariously Awful Examples Of Product Placements In Comics.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out 6 TV Shows That Stopped Their Shows To Sell You Stuff, and other videos you won't see on the site!
Also, follow us on Facebook, and let's be best friends forever