The official website advertises the Alternative as the "missing link" between lethal and nonlethal force. Again, we're no experts, but it seems to us like a weapon should probably be one of the two, so you know exactly what to reach for. Creating a hybrid is only inviting disaster, like a soda fountain that occasionally pours poison. That the Alternative's being sold despite significant criticism and a complete lack of data on how the shot affects a human being and how police would use it while under stress is terrifying. But at least it's so far only found its way into the hands of responsible police officers in ... uh, Ferguson, Missouri.
Taser Drones (Are, Astonishingly, An Even More Terrible Idea)
Chaotic Moon Studios
In August 2015, North Dakota passed legislation that allows drones to be armed with nonlethal weapons, like rubber bullets, pepper spray, and Tasers. Apparently, the Terminator movies were never released in North Dakota. But that was the logical conclusion of a bill that was, uh, intended to ban all weapons from drones. The bill also instituted a warrant requirement for drone surveillance, which was previously not necessary (it seems that no dystopian movies have made it into the state, either). That part of the bill passed, but only after law enforcement lobbyists negotiated the addition of nonlethal weapons. Because once they finally get that inconvenient warrant, there's no way their targets won't deserve a few high-velocity beanbags to the face, right?
Hopefully this at least reduces the shocking number of murders in the Fargo area.
Pretty much every nonlethal weapon has racked up a modest kill count thanks to either misuse or simple bad luck, and there's serious concern that both could be exacerbated by the depersonalization drones create. It's already tempting enough to fire a Taser at someone who's annoying you. Now, you don't even have to look them in the eye, deal with the consequences, or acknowledge them as real human beings?
Dair Massey/The Daily Beast
"All of the jaywalkers pepper-sprayed. News at 11."
One county sheriff called the entire bill ridiculous, arguing that unsupervised weaponized drone surveillance was a key plank in his crime-fighting strategy. We're not sure if we should be more terrified of the supervillainy that's supposedly occurring in North Dakota or the loose drone cannon sheriffs that are combating it. Either way, a man who calls efforts to keep weapons off police drones "ridiculous" and refuses to disclose how many drone flights he's overseen is not someone we'd trust with their finger on a remote Taser trigger. Furthermore, we're worried that the drones ARE WONDERFUL. THIS IS NOT BEING TYPED BY A NORTH DAKOTAN DRONE AFTER THIS CRACKED WRITER GOT ZAPPED IN THE BALLS. YOU BETCHA.
You can read more from Mark at his website, which will blind you for 15 minutes if you leave a rude comment.
Come see Cracked editors talking post-apocalyptic movie worlds with scientists and special guests during a LIVE PODCAST at UCB on Dec. 9 at 7 p.m.! Tickets on sale here!
Be sure to check out 4 Deadly Weapons Clearly Designed By A Cartoon Character and 5 Military Weapons Clearly Designed By A 5-Year-Old.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out The Problem With Using Time Travel As A Murder Weapon, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!
Also, follow us on Facebook. Or don't. But please do!