Which, coincidentally, is where the Cracked editors go to defend against orcs.
Yes, science says it's possible to stop your intractable hiccups with a good rectal massage, and yes, they're being serious. It appears that the hiccups are closely connected with the vagus nerve, which runs all the way from your brain to your diaphragm ... and finally, near the rectum. The nerve interacts with others near the diaphragm, causing the fully formed "f**k you, body" experience that is the hiccups. The only moderately certain way to truly calm down that nerve is to confuse it with deliberate overstimulation (such as scaring someone to make their whole body flinch), and the most effective way to do that is to ... manually access it. Which, of course, means sticking stuff up your butt.
The proud researchers behind the Ig Nobel-worthy finding used something called a "digital rectal massage" to stimulate the vagus nerve, but for those of us with analog asses and/or an aversion to getting fingered by a robot, a simple human finger should suffice. Maybe your own. Maybe a friend's. You never know what will happen, come the next hiccups party!