They don't find nearly as much feces as you'd think.
The risk/reward aspect of the program has proven to be a huge draw, resulting in two spinoffs and a handful of copycat shows, because evidently the thrill of watching a bunch of slouching millionaires pay hundreds of dollars for garages full of porn and old mattresses is simply too compelling to be confined to a single television series.
Why It's Depressing
If you've ever watched Storage Wars, you may wonder why a person would leave a $6,000 coin collection in a storage unit and then default on the rent. The answer is really sad, no matter how you look at it.
Yes, even if you hold a puppy in front of your face.
You see, originally the show's producers intended to delve into the background of each locker featured on Storage Wars, but unsurprisingly, all the information they uncovered was pure, unmitigated misery. The reason these abandoned treasures are abandoned is that the original owners of the units failed to make their rent payments. This is because they could no longer afford them due to unemployment, homelessness (hence putting all their belongings in a storage locker), divorce, or illness, or because they had freaking died and were therefore no longer able to pay.
But don't worry, because according to former Storage Warrior Dave Hester, the show is all rigged anyway. Hester claims that all of the valuable items found inside the lockers are actually planted there by the show's producers, which would explain how the bidders could inexplicably find something like a Rembrandt stashed in a 6-by-12 unit alongside a box full of GamePro magazines. He also insists that all of the auctions are staged, meaning every "bidding war" you witness on the show is actually entirely scripted.
We should point out that he was totally fine with the deception until being fired from the show after three seasons.
Furthermore, the producers apparently give the "weaker" cast members an allowance, more or less, so they can actually afford to make bids (you know, on the show about people who supposedly bid on storage lockers for a living).
Big deal, so it probably isn't real. It's just entertainment, right? Well, according to this article, people in dire financial straits via debt, unemployment, or a vicious combination of both have been completely taken in by the show's "hidden treasure" aspect and have begun showing up to storage locker auctions ready to bid every penny they have left in the hopes of scoring a valuable haul. If the show is fixed, those (literally) poor bastards have zero chance of finding anything more than some old gas cans and a mummified rat, which you may notice are items that have very little resale value. They've been tragically misled into dumping what little remains of their personal assets into a fictionalized enterprise. They'd have been better off trading their money for magic fucking beans.
So in summation, Storage Wars is either staged and dupes desperate people into financial ruin, or it is real and capitalizes on painful misfortune. Either way, you're watching a bunch of assholes laugh and joke as they make money off of the tattered remains of people's lives.
Karl Smallwood recently wrote a book containing dozens of email exchanges with people who hate him, read about it here. He also has Twitter. Mohammed Shariff's cousin is on a quest to discover the coolest cafes in London.
For more on ridiculous reality television, check out 5 Secrets of Making Reality TV They Don't Want You to Know and 21 Reality Shows We'd Actually Watch.
If you're pressed for time and just looking for a quick fix, then check out 4 Works of Propaganda That Prove Dictators Suck at Photoshop.
And stop by LinkSTORM to see what happens when Cody and Brockway sit and compare beards.
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