Your Employer (and Everyone Else) Can Constantly Monitor Your Mood
If you've ever worked in customer service, you know that you're expected to smile, even if you're having a really shitty day. But it's OK, you can just fake it, right? Not anymore! Thanks to miraculous advancements in computers' ability to read your face, there is software out there that can tell if your toothy grin is genuine or not. It's already being used -- in Japan, railway staff are now required to check their smile every morning with a Smile Scan.
No, that is not a hoax article, as far as we can tell. In a scene that would have seemed unrealistic in a sci-fi movie about a dystopian corporate future, employees must sit in front of a camera and let a computer program scan their expression and tell them whether their smile is smiley enough or if it needs work. Presumably a bad score earns them a severe electric shock.
Please think it's real, please think it's real, please think it's real ...
Not that you'll be able to escape this when you leave your customer service job. Want to know if your date was really enjoying herself the other night? You can upload a picture of your outing on GladorSad.com and they'll analyze it for you and tell you if she was secretly hoping that a meteor would strike the restaurant.
And of course companies are already trying to brainstorm ways to use this technology to sell you things. Microsoft is even thinking about programming the next generation of Kinect cameras to watch you in your own home and detect your mood. With this information, they can run targeted advertisements based on how it thinks you're feeling.
He's playing Kinect Star Wars! Quick, cue up a Zoloft commercial!