Dora the Explorer: Dora Is Stalked by Omniscient and Omnipotent Strangers
Dora the Explorer follows the bilingual adventures of a little girl who travels almost anywhere. She goes to the tops of mountains, under the sea and even off into outer space. To aid her on these peligroso travels, Dora often turns to the camera to ask for advice.
So, when Dora turns to the screen and asks what she should do next ... who the hell is she talking to?
"Well, Cracked, she's talking to the little kids at home! It's interactive! The kids shout back to the TV, and it appears that Dora does what they say!" Yeah, but ... from Dora's point of view, how does this work? The answer is apparently that Dora's life is controlled by a powerful, ever-changing mass of strangers.
This entity makes choices about Dora's travels, picks items from her backpack, scares off Swiper and even can reach into Dora's world and physically help her. For example, during "The Great Polar Bear Rescue," the stranger helps Dora pull her cousins into a helicopter.
"OK, but next time we're making you do a Sophie's Choice between them."
And where is this all-knowing mass of strangers in Dora's universe? For instance, if we're watching the show, suddenly we'll see Dora in her home, and she'll start talking to us as if we are standing behind a table in her living room:
"Eyes in the wall, tell me who dies tonight."
So, what is she seeing? Who is she talking to?
And she can see us. In every episode, Dora starts off minding her own business in her house or in the woods or wherever, then is suddenly confronted by this powerful entity (us) who now has complete control over whether or not she is going to survive her next adventure. It's bad enough for kids to talk to strangers, but Dora is immediately placing her life in these strangers' hands as she crosses some dangerous rapids or climbs a mountain.
Even the monkey knows that this is bullshit.
And by the way, what is going to happen when Dora gets older? Are these strangers going to keep appearing in her house? What if she's getting dressed, going to the bathroom or being intimate with someone? After all, currently she can't even go to bed without someone staring at her. Muy espeluznante!
"AWAKEN! YOU EXIST ONLY FOR OUR AMUSEMENT, WHORE!"
Eh, maybe we're overthinking this. Never mind.
For more TV universes that should terrify you, check out The 7 Most Soul-Crushing Series Finales in TV History. Or read about the 6 TV Shows That Completely Lost Their Shit.
If you're pressed for time and just looking for a quick fix, then check out Does Green Day Have a Yoko Ono Problem?
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