Holy shit, he's the second person to flip off a camera, too. You know what, maybe his fingers were frozen like that -- which makes sense, considering that Charley Hoss, as the other players called him, is apparently where the term "charley horse" comes from.
The German Who Didn't Give a Fuck
It's easy to think that everyone in Nazi Germany was a monster because, well, it was Nazi Germany. This photo of a crowd of seemingly regular people performing the Nazi salute certainly doesn't help fight that perception -- the photo was taken at the launch of a German army vessel in 1936, during a ceremony that was attended by Adolf Hitler himself. As you can see, everyone in attendance is showing their undying support for Der Fuhrer by throwing out their very best "Seig Heil."
Well, almost everyone:
"As soon as they serve the hors d'oeuvres, I'm outta here."
Look closer -- not only is this guy not doing the salute at a time and a place where that could have easily gotten him killed, but he's actually wearing his best "meh" face.
He had both arms occupied at actively not giving a fuck.
Think about it: Even today, you could get beat up for wearing a hockey jersey in front of people from the other team. This guy was standing in the middle of a crowd of literal Nazis, and he still had the balls to not go along with them, leading us to believe that he might have attended the ceremony simply so he could lay a fart on Hitler.
How do we know that he wasn't just resting his arms or something, though? Because we actually know who he was: His name was August Landmesser, and not long after this picture was taken, he was arrested for trying to marry a part-Jewish woman, which was illegal. That's right, this guy had "attempted marriage" in his criminal record.
Neither Landmesser nor his would-be wife survived the war, but their two daughters did, and in 1991 one of them recognized her father in this picture and began sharing his badassery with the world.
"Adolph Hitler? More like Piece of Shitler."
Eric Yosomono writes for GaijinAss.com and has a Facebook page here. Curren Mcdowell is picking his way across the world and blogging about it at garagesalepickers.blogspot.com. Xavier Jackson has a Facebook page and an email at XavierJacksonCracked@gmail.com.
For more ridiculously bizarre old photos, check out 9 Old-Timey Animal Photos You Won't Believe Are Real and 16 Real Old-Timey Photographs That Will Give you Nightmares.
If you're pressed for time and just looking for a quick fix, then check out The Only Way Your Drunk Friend Could Be More Annoying.
And stop by LinkSTORM to learn the proper way to time travel and fight your grandparents.
And don't forget to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr to get sexy, sexy jokes sent straight to your news feed. Are you on Google+? So are we!
Do you have an idea in mind that would make a great article? Then sign up for our writers workshop! Do you possess expert skills in image creation and manipulation? Mediocre? Even rudimentary? Are you frightened by MS Paint and simply have a funny idea? You can create an infographic and you could be on the front page of Cracked.com tomorrow!