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The Thickness of Beer Goggles
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"Beer goggles," or the idea that alcohol makes you find people more attractive, sounds like a convenient excuse invented by douchebags who don't want to admit that they will simply have sex with anything that moves. But science says beer goggles are real.
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For proof, spend more than 10 minutes in any college town bar.
It is, however, more complicated than "Alcohol = Boner." Thanks to the wonders of math, the effect can be precisely calculated.
The Formula:
Professors at the University of Manchester, England, worked out that the effect isn't really beer goggles, but bar goggles (or dance club goggles). It's alcohol plus a number of environmental factors, like so:
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Incidentally, this is the same equation used to calculate your likelihood of picking up an STD.
An is the number of drinks consumed, limited only by your bodily fortitude.
d is the distance in meters between you and the object of your potential lust.
S is the smokiness of the room, rated between 0 and 10.
L is the brightness of the room, rated between 1 and 150.
Vo is a measure of your visual acuity, 6/6 being normal and 6/12 being "maced in the face."
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"Oh yeah. This is probably a good decision."
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