Just as an aside, the price being $151 now, that's only 302 fondles a month you'll need to reach that value target.

These pants were clearly designed for people with a love of America and a hatred of fashion. Or, you know, Napoleon Dynamite fans.

How many reviews were entirely Napoleon Dynamite quotes? you might wonder, and the answer is six. Out of 28. Let's pass those and move on to:

Sorry, French people, we are never going to let that go. On a different tack, there's this guy:

I cut that off right there because he went on to quote the entire U.S. flag code.

There is definitely a lot to think about there, like: "The flag should be hoisted briskly and lowered ceremoniously (section 6b)," and the section about how to display it at half-mast.

So once you get past the initial, "what a stupid book" impression, I'll tell you that once upon a time, when there were no computers, people needed random numbers generated for experiments and shit. So they actually looked in a book to get those numbers.

Anyway, we have computers now. So it's time to go back to sarcastically making fun of how useless this book is.

This one might take a little while to get, or maybe I'm just slower than you are:

Probably the most interesting phenomenon is that most of the recent reviews have themselves been random about completely different books or products. Whether this is a database glitch or people trying to be really meta in their reviews, it's pretty neat to be looking for random number jokes and then find:

Amazon.co.uk brings us some of that trademark dry British "humour" (it is like "humor" but metric) in a whopping 224 reviews of an ordinary Bic ballpoint pen.

Satire is out in full swing as reviewers skewer the digital age with fairly fresh takes on the "this generation doesn't remember how pens work" joke.

As good as some pointed social commentary can be, however, sometimes a person just likes to see a couple of penis jokes.

Those of you who care about things like "reality" and "truth" probably want to know if this is an actual product because you have lost your sense of childlike wonder. Fine. Proporta is a real company that makes mostly electronic accessories. For "humour" purposes (they are also British), they've listed this fake product on their own website for about $1.5 million, and when they ported their store to Amazon, that product got put up too.

Which is good news for us because that means it's open to Amazon user reviews, from good old straight-up sarcasm:

To some fine elephant dong jokes (that's the censored word there, if you live in a bubble):

Apparently people who only use it to block low leachable halogens and sulfur are unambitious pussies because Amazon reviewers really seem to be getting 110 percent out of this tape.