The lasers are a new innovation in the field of high-end craziness. According to The Times, the system works by automatically detecting the electronic light sensor inside any nearby camera and firing a high-intensity beam of light at it, destroying its ability to take pictures.
This image exists only because he hasn't built any lasers into his own body ... yet.
OK, but what if somehow (possibly through decades of ninja training), camera-toting, missile-holding paparazzi pirates managed to get inside the yacht?
Well, in that case, Abramoavich can simply walk into the goddamned built-in mini-submarine he keeps just for these occasions. It'll drop 160 feet into the water, protecting him and his 29-year-old wife from any harm.
Whatever you're thinking, he's like "I know!"