So how does Boston and Shaun land on a level of comic hell more disturbing than Concession? It's the absolute mind-rending unpredictability of the plots. Every time you get comfortable with the idea of where the story is going, it goes screaming off in another direction. For instance, here is the strip from 1/15/2002:
Well, hell, that's a pretty straightforward story setup there. Going to meet Shaun's family. Want to look their best. Such a well-worn comic premise, it borders on the predictable. Let's see what new twist Boston and Shaun can put on it. The very next strip, from 1/16/2002:
That, my friends, is what it feels like when somebody crams your expectations up their asshole and farts them into orbit. That's the whole strip; there's no context for what you just saw there. No human logic can tie one pixel of that episode to the one before it. Go to the site and click around if you don't believe me. You'll find no familiar footing to comfort you. Needless to say, from there to the end of the comic's archives, they never do meet Shaun's family.
And now, we reach the bottom.
#1. Billy the Heretic:
Well... this strip doesn't seem so bad... it's about a Christian boy growing up in a Jewish family, and the way they reconcile their religious differences, right?
Hell, that's downright heartwarming. The about the author page even explains that he was in fact a non-Jew who was adopted and raised by a Jewish family, so it's clearly autobiographical. The strip's title seems to be a play off "Dennis the Menace," so let's see how this trouble-making scamp makes his way through this all-American fish-out-of-water story!
Oh. Huh. So... is "I see another abortion clinic going up in a WASP neighborhood" like his catchphrase or something? Is that his "don't have a cow, man"? When I get home tonight and my wife starts complaining about how I didn't take the trash out, can I reply with, "Lookout, I see another abortion clinic going up in a WASP neighborhood!" and get a nice response from the laugh track?
Let's try this one, a personal anecdote from young Billy's life...
...about how all vandalism is secretly funded by Jewish window companies.
So, you know, that could have happened I suppose. I mean that's not so much a Jewish thing, but him saying his own father was a corrupt man. And if that incident really happened, we can't judge him for relaying it, right? It's an honest retelling of his own life story. You know, like that time he helped his old man forge Barack Obama's Hawaiian birth certificate so the Jews could rig the 2008 election:
And that time his family boiled a crucifix in poop on the front lawn:
I'd be tempted to call the artist a Nazi at this point, but I seriously don't think the Nazis believe any of the above. I think this guy is part of some Aryan splinter-group that is even considered crazy by the Nazis.
Don't you see it was the Jews pissing in the cemetery the whole time? And what is the evil dad doing in the final panel? In the forums they speculated he is giving birth.
Sure the guy's a bigot, but how much of it is the product of what is clearly a diseased mind? It's one thing to find out your neighbor hates you because of your race. It's another to find out he hates you because he thinks you're secretly a vampire.
By the way, as stupid and ugly and sad as it is, I still wound up reading every episode. I did the same for most of the comics mentioned here. After all, doesn't all of the best art make you feel like somebody pooped in your hair?
Art isn't about liking what you see, it's about experiencing the world through the artist's eyes, even if that artist has had hatred eat a massive hole through his brain. Even completely retarded webcomics can teach us something about the world, and the crazy people in it. And that is information you can carry with you from now until the day Jesus throws an asteroid at the earth.
David Wong is the Editor of Cracked.com and the author of the dongtacular horror novel John Dies at the End, coming in hardback next month. When Nick Coffin isn't researching god-awful webcomics, he's writing a parody of the Kingdom Hearts game.
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